April's CR Diary

Hey! Are You Looking For Me???

2005-06-05T18:40:00.000-07:00

Don't you know that I've moved over here:

http://www.mprize.org/blogs/index.html

Join me there!

I'll Be Back

2005-04-21T18:46:00.000-07:00

Hey Bloggiefriends...

I'm going on vacation for a week before I start my new/old job back for real forever, so I'll be away from email. The new blog at http://www.mprize.org will be updated everyday with family friendly content. Enjoy.

Just Keep It Real With The Ones You Came In With

2005-04-19T00:41:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's a line from "Jenny From the Block."

Because I am clearly still from the South Bronx... or northeast Philly... or whatever.

My first day back at work was wonderful... the joy of being surrounded by a bunch of people whom I've worked with so long that they've become my family. We had a great time. I feel once again encircled in the warm embrace of all my closest friends and comrades.

Of course they are dying to meet MR. They've heard about him for so long, and they were around for the long period of time when I admired him from afar. They can't wait to see him at my birthday party.

I packed a delicious lunch of kale, olives, yogurt with fresh squeezed lemon juice and garlic powder with a red pepper chopped up, and megamuffins! The work crew loved megamuffins... don't tell MR, but VLC likes mine better than his! Mine are very tart... the lime influence, no doubt. I am looking forward to making the next version with all organic strawberries!

Okay, I'm exhausted and I've gotta be up for work in the am (okay, so I'm up by five no matter what, but anyway) so I'm going to crash... Black Moth, you'd better put my Aug. 7 birthday party on your calendar!

I'm moving

2005-03-24T06:51:00.000-08:00

Follow me to my new address: http://www.mprize.org/blogs
See you there.

We In the House Now For Sure -- P Diddy

2005-03-22T19:19:00.000-08:00

Well, well, well.

One of my Mprize brothers recently got the idea that we should put my blog on the Mprize website! After all, if my blog helps people to do CR, and that helps them live better in the here and now, plus increases their chances of making it to the day when all our Mprize efforts pay off in radical rejuvenative medicine for humans, then why not?

So I'm moving on over to http://www.mprize.org/blogs/. One of our wonderful computer skilled volunteers set it up in no time flat, and in a matter of moments there will be a big button on the front page of the http://www.mprize.org that will point people to April's CR Diary!

Yep, people who click on the Mprize website will be directed to a blog that attempts to convert them to CR. How cool is that?

I hope you guys will follow me over there... blog is not worth blogging without my faithful bloggiefriends!

I'm looking forward to the next phase of our CR journey. You coming along for the ride?

Well, I Put Garlic Powder in the Cottage Cheese

2005-03-22T15:45:00.000-08:00

It's day three of my week-before-my-CR-birthday perfect CR week, and I'm starting to worry about how I'm going to entertain you when I'm eating the same thing every day. Clearly, it's time for a big round of philosophy, but I haven't had time to write anything brilliant yet, so you'll have to be content with minute details of what I am eating.

I moved breakfast back to six thirty am, an hour after taking my morning supplements. I put some fresh lime juice in my water. I added some garlic powder to the cottage cheese. I continue to adore my lunchtime kale salad, complete with olive and flax oil and red wine vinegar. I may go out with some friends for coffee tonight, in which case I'll have my cafe au lait with skim as an evening snack (I'll make it a decaf) instead of an afternoon snack. Then I'll put my 10 g of hazelnuts in a plastic baggie to eat with the latte.

Wow, even I am getting bored. I promise my diet will get exciting again soon. It's just so easy to keep calories low and nutrition high when I stick to the familliar basics.

Okay, okay, I'm giving CR a bad name by being so boring. I'll write some philosophy soon.

I Can Tell You All I Know, The Where to Go, The What To Do

2005-03-21T21:10:00.000-08:00

Line from a Steely Dan song that I'm listening to now on continuous repeat. What did we do before continuous repeat? I have no earthly idea.

The whole line goes:

"I can tell you all I know
The where to go, the what to do
You can try to run but
You can't hide from what's inside of you."

I used to listen to this song (it's called "Any Major Dude Will Tell You," an inspiring title if I ever heard one) during my last period of behavior that was inexplicable to my friends, back in 1994. Let's say what started as a three week fling ended in me taking a ton of computer science courses and teaching Yale kids neat-o unix commands like "grep" and "cat." Needless to say, "cat" was a favorite of mine, but I've noted since that there's no word in the English language that communicates so efficiently the concept of "grep."

Well, anyway.

Flashing back to this time last year. If I had been able to forsee the events that followed, I might have had the following conversation with my two best friends (let's call them the Hello Kitty clique):

"So I'm going to do this crazy diet that will make me lose 32 pounds and blabber on at length about macronutrient ratios. Also, I'll stop being a vegetarian. And I'll develop a huge crush on a really skinny Canadian guy who is 34 but looks 22 and makes supplements for a living. Also, I'll start to read all this stuff by this British guy who has a very long beard and thinks we can cure aging. Eventually, I'll leave my extremely successful career to raise money full time for this thing that's a lot like the X Prize but involves mice."

Back before CR, my friends and I used to put away fairly impressive quantities of red wine. So they would have just figured it was the cabernet talking.

It all turned out well. I mean here I am, happy, healthy, feeling great about my life, doing work that is extremely important to me, and watching my mother feed catfood to a pair of geese who have taken up residence on her patio.

I don't know what CR will change about your life. If you're a woman, and if you've always been at war with your body, and you find that CR helps you lose weight and give your body the nutrients it needs, you will discover a way of living that you never thought possible. I don't know what you'll decide to do with all the energy you no longer expend in that ubiquitous American woman fat guilt, but I know you'll find a great way to spend your time that makes you happy. I'm so proud of my bloggiefriends who have lost weight and gotten healthy and are enjoying their new CR lives. One of the happiest moments of my blogger journey so far was when one of my bloggiefriends said she had lost 20 pounds and was wearing cute jeans again! Yea! Living a long time is great, but the brothers don't always understand what an amazing thing it is to love the body you're living in now!

People who don't do CR always talk about what a sacrifice it would be. I don't find it so. Doing CR has made such a positive change in my life that I can't imagine how a Dunkin Donuts bagel with cream cheese could possibly compete. Of course it's easier for women, where society reinforces skinniness as the ideal of beauty. But I'm not all that skinny... I would contend that even at 105, you wouldn't see me and think "She's skinny." You'd just think I was younger than I am and slim.

Eating more protein has been the key for me. I look at my detox week diet, and I see protein and unsaturated fats. My eggwhite breakfast with flax oil, my yummy, easy lunch with kale salad and cottage cheese. I just ate my brewers yeast and veggies dinner. One thing I find I do is compress my meals into a rather short period during the day. For instance, today I ate breakfast at ten. Lunch at 12. Dinner at 5. But I'll be full for the rest of the night. I'll go out with my mom tonight and have a nice cup of herbal tea with my calcium chewy supplement and be very satisfied. One thing that's weird for me when I'm at MR's house (I mean aside from the fact that after years of whining that I would never meet a guy who holds my interest for more than two dates I've met a guy who could fascinate me for 1000 years!) is that we eat breakfast an hour and twenty minutes after waking, and I'm not really hungry yet. I usually sit on the floor drinking coffee while he chops veggies for our breakfast salad, and we talk CR. By the time we sit down to breakfast, I'm awake, but I'm not hungry. Still, I enjoy my eggwhites. And I enjoy asking my CR guru all my CR questions while he eats a giant salad that would take me an entire day to consume.

I'm so happy for all of my bloggiefriends who are taking control of their health. It's great fun, isn't it?

The Week of My First CR Birthday

2005-03-21T15:35:00.000-08:00

Well, this Saturday, March 26, it will be the one year anniversary of the day I started CR.

A lot has changed since then!

In preparation for this occasion, I'm having a special CR detox week. I've distilled my basic CR diet down to my favorite elements, creating a daily diet that is almost perfect in nutrition, easy to make, and delicious to eat. I started yesterday, and I'm planning to stick with it until Friday when I fly off to Calgary.

Here it is. It will look familliar:

pre-breakfast:
1.5 oz cranberry grape juice with strontium and creatine

breakfast:
1 cup eggwhites scrambled 125
1 teaspoon flax oil 40

lunch:
100 g raw kale 50
1/2 tablespoon flax oil 60
1/2 tablespoon olive oil 60
1 cup cottage cheese 160

afternoon snack:
cafe au lait with skim milk 80
10 g hazelnuts

dinner:
1/2 bag of frozen cauliflower, carrots and broccoli 75
2 cups free range organic chicken broth 30
2 tablespoons brewers yeast 160
1 teaspoon olive oil 40
calcium chewy 20

total: 1001
Over 100% of RDAs of everything except: 50% iron, 40% zinc, 49% panto acid.
P:F:C = 49:32:19

Now some of you are asking: this is not Zoned, this is Atkins induction. It's under 20% carb.

True, but also not true. It's not Atkins induction per meal: breakfast has almost no carbs, lunch is not Atkins. This is not a ketogenic diet, at least I don't think it is.

What's up with me abandoning the Zone idea?

For now, I am more concerned with total mental focus than with Zoning, and the more protein I get and fewer carbs, the better my focus. Note that I am doing well on fat, as well as on Omega 3/6 balance.

It's on the low end of calories for me, but I'm washing out stress and anxiety, and going a little low for awhile always helps that. I want to be in perfect health on my CR birthday. Yea!

Next week when I'm in Calgary, I'm going up to 1100 so that I don't get too hungry. 1100 is a good average for me, and if I'm not going out as much, I may as well go up on normal days. MR and I figured out that we have to add lots of brewers yeast to what I eat when I'm with him because I don't get enough nutrients by just eating half what he eats. And I want to eat his delicious food! But he doesn't want to kill me by depriving me of nutrients, so we'll throw in some brewers yeast.

So far so good... I'm in day two and feeling fantastic!

Buy Guns Here! Through Faith Alone Will You Be Saved

2005-03-20T20:00:00.000-08:00

On my way home from Reading, PA, where I did a meeting on the second to last day of work for my old union, I saw this sign on the side of a building. The sign went on to read, "Not through works."

At the edge of Pennsylvania Dutch country, I suppose it's not that shocking to find a Protestant gun merchant. Still, the juxtaposition struck me as funny.

Earlier in the week I had gone out for dinner with a friend of my parents whom I hadn't seen in awhile. When I described my new job and it's focus on reversing aging, he said, "Well, I have good genes, and I eat healthy."

It was clear that I had not communicated the point.

Good genes and eating healthy may prevent an early heart attack, but they certainly won't hold off aging much beyond what you get from having your shots and living in a country with basic sanitation and medical care. CR itself, a dramatic, difficult, unusual intervention, will only get us another few decades at best.

No, to reverse the aging process, you have to repair the damage of living. That's the whole point of the engineering approach.

Yet, when I talk to people about what I'm doing, their immediate reaction is to start talking about their own lifestyle. Part of that might be because they know I practice CR, so they want to talk about why they don't. But I think there's more to it than that. The idea of health and lifestyle is so guilt-ridden in our society that the moment you talk about the ultimate symptom of ill-health, death, people start to rattle off all the multivitamins they're taking and the broccoli they ate last week.

The other day I said to Aubrey de Grey, "I think it's important that you don't do CR, because we have to communicate to people that it's not about 'being healthy,' it's about interventions that will actually repair the damage."

I also threatened to refer to him as a modern day Martin Luther. He didn't bat an eye... well, I don't know if he did, the conversation took place entirely over email. However, Aubrey is one of those people who is not surprised by much of anything.

Now this may seem contradictory to you: for some time now, you've been following a blog about Calorie Restriction with Optimal Nutrition for the purposes of healthy lifespan extension. Yep, that's what this is about. It's about what you can do in the here and now: in your kitchen, at the grocery store, on the road at the Subway, at dinner with your college roommate, on a date with some guy who makes fun of you for eating salad (thank God I don't have to deal with that... and if you find that frustrating, I have some very nice single CR brothers I can set you up with. Ladies?) I spend a lot of time and energy figuring out how to do CR so that it doesn't take up much time and energy... and I'm very proud of my quick and easy, elegantly simple CR diet. Obviously, I'm a believer in the one intervention proven to slow down the aging process: CR. So why am I babbling on about Aubrey de Grey and repairing the damage? And what's Martin Luther got to do with it?

The thing that always bothered me about CR is that in many ways, it is only for the elect. I would argue that CR is not limited to the rich, those who have time, people without children, or people with red hair. The ease and cheapness of my own CR practice defeats all those arguments. But it is limited to those with unusual self-discipline and focus, who want to use some of that self-discipline and focus on what they eat, and who believe that CR will work. The urge to eat crap is pretty darned hardwired, and to fight it, especially in a society where you're constantly confronted with delicous food and social pressure to eat it, requires an unusual personality.

When you talk about CR with the non-CR'd, their immediate reaction is always defensive. They talk about why they don't think that's "healthy," why it won't make you live longer, it will just seem longer, how they wouldn't want to be that skinny (people who are overweight say this a lot, I've noticed) and how they wouldn't want to lose their libido (a side-effect which is far from universal.) People don't want to change, even when changing would save their lives.

SENS isn't about being good, living a healthy lifestyle, or getting brownie points by eating your apple a day. Those of us who do CR to make it to "escape velocity" (if you don't know what I'm talking about go read Aubrey's website at http://www.gen.cam.ac.uk/sens) hope that CR will be a bridge to the day when biomedicine will be available that will make CR unnecessary. No matter how well we practice CR, how low our calories and high our nutrition, it's still only buying a small amount of time if we don't come up with something better. We can't prevent all damage from occuring, so we have to figure out how to repair the damage that is inevitable.

You can never do enough good works to save yourself. Even if you ate 30:30:40 with 100% of everything every day.

This hasn't convinced me to give up brewers yeast and pinot noir in favor of Krispy Kreme and beer (though I do have a beer occasionally, following the "only at a brewpub or with Aubrey de Grey" rule.) If anything, my involvement with SENS, the M Prize, Aubrey, et al has convinced me to become even more serious about my CR. As one of the brothers at the NYC gathering last night pointed out, my diet has evolved a lot since October! I have re-applied myself to the task of minimizing my calories and maximizing my nutrition. To quote Aerosmith in that song from the movie _Armageddon_, "I don't wanna miss a thing."

And yet, I don't want people who don't want to do CR, for whatever reason, to be left out. If anything, we have to work harder, faster, so that they make it to escape velocity with us. There are some really fun people out there who don't want to do CR. I don't blame them: I don't want to do push-ups.

So this blog isn't *just* about CR. It's about how we can stay healthier, longer, using all the tools that are available to us now and building new tools that will work much better.

In the meantime, eat your eggwhites.

All That Zinc

2005-03-20T17:21:00.000-08:00

Last night after the New York CR Society meeting, I met my college roommate for dinner. We went to an amazing seafood place called the Aqua Grill. It was worth the wait to get a table. I had never had oysters, except for in a seafood stew, but my old roomie loves them, so we ordered fourteen, seven different kinds, and had one of each. Wow! They were amazing! I loved them! I knew that MR had said oysters were good for zinc, so I couldn't wait to get back to my DWIDP to find out exactly how much those oysters would rock out my nutrition for the day. 761% of the RDA for zinc!!! In only 67 calories! Wow. I love oysters. I just asked MR if I should skip my zinc supplement for a day or so... or if I should eat an oyster every day. The entire meal was delicious. After the oysters, I had a heavenly Manhattan Clam Chowder. My roomie, who knows how to order wine, picked us out a pinot noir. I was very impressed with her wine ordering skills until she told me that she had just picked it because it was called Ramsey and her old friend Ramsey had called her earlier in the day. So much for fancy wine skills. Thanks for a great dinner, college roomie!!! All that zinc!

The New York CR Society meeting was tons of fun. I rode the New Jersey Transit train up with the Brother from Haddonfield, whom I hadn't seen in awhile. It was great to catch up. I got to see Paul and Meredith, who now have some competition for the title of cutest CR couple. Everyone wanted to know what Aubrey de Grey is really like in person (answer: he's so much fun!!!) and what MR thinks about this and that. We were also joined by some new CR practitioners who were lots of fun to chat with. It's wonderful to see our numbers increasing. We met at an excellent health foods store called Lifethyme. It was quite a struggle to resist the raw food vegan concotions in the deli case, including giant pizza pie like objects with all kinds of greens and nuts. But knowing that I had fancy dinner plans, I resisted and had two cups of green tea instead.

Back home now and searching for biotech companies that want to be corporate sponsors of the M Prize, but don't yet know it.

From the God of Simple Things

2005-03-18T23:56:00.000-08:00

Yes, I am still getting blog headlines from "Everything Is Different Now." I will be bringing my CD to Calgary next week.

Today was fine... breakfast was eggwhites and flax oil. Lunch out with a former co-worker: arugula salad with sushi grade tuna, capers, green beans, and olives. Dinner: made shrimp in tomato broth and red wine with red peppers for mom, asparagus steamed with lime juice on the side.

Feels like a low calorie day, though I know by now that when I go out I can not be sure.

Tomorrow, NY CR Society meeting!

And My Winter Giving Way To Warm

2005-03-18T00:46:00.002-08:00

It's night time and I'm listening to Fiona Apple. First album. "Pale September." I am of the opinion that there are very few things that can't be communicated in either an Alana Davis song or a Fiona Apple song.

I have this irrational belief that spring will somehow clear up some of the misunderstandings that have plagued the CR community as of late. It will be 50 degrees here tomorrow and I take that as a hopeful sign. In the meanwhile, I continue to write letters to luminaries in the biotech world, search for grant applications for corporate philanthropy, and rack my brains for new ideas on how to raise money for the M Prize. Like my work before, it's good to know that I am at least heading in the right direction.

Was thinking tonight about what good company the blog has been. I know you're out there because I watch my counter statistics, and there you are, reading about cottage cheese and kale. I wonder how you're doing on your CR journeys. I love it when you write me -- Willie, great to hear from you! MR runs everyday, does some kind of resistance training, and I don't know about the rest. Laura -- be sure to get low carb torillas that have 50 calories for the pizza! Fruitgirl -- eat some protein!!! Dani -- how's the CR going? Jerry in Colorado -- how have you been? What do you think of the engineering approach to curing aging? Paul -- how are things in Hong Kong?

It's almost my CR birthday... March is here, and of course I am remembering last March, a very different March, in which this March would have been difficult to imagine. The first time I ever saw MR in my email inbox... not long after I read Walford... the first lame attempts at CR... it seems like a very long time ago. This has been an unusually long year. I feel like I am growing by leaps and bounds, learning things, spending a lot of time in free fall. Last year Aubrey de Grey was an author of fascinating scientific articles, and I was too scared to email him and ask "What can I do?" Last year, I could still complain about my weight! Last year, I ate bagels with cream cheese, I had never heard the term "life-extensionist," I thought I was getting enough protein!

Now I'm planning a trip to visit MR at the end of the month, during which I will attend what will prove to be a historic debate between Aubrey de Grey and Jay Olshansky at BIOMEDEX in Montreal. I've sent letters to all the biotech companies that will attend asking them to support us... keep your fingers crossed!

One of my M Prize brothers, Kevin, has started his own blog. It's much prettier than mine. You can find it here: http://www.healthextension.net/ Kevin is one of the wonderful people I've met since I became involved with the M Prize.

Another of these wonderful people, Aaron, is writing his own CR blog!!! www.spaz.ca/blog. Aaron is one of the rapidly growing tribe of CR'd Three Hundred members. Yea!!!!!! It's about time a CR boy wrote a blog. The girls have the market cornered right now.

It's warm in my apartment because I keep the heat way up high. My cat is sleeping under my desk in his basket. I am getting sleepy. Fiona Apple's "Pale September" is on continuous repeat on the CD player.

"And my winter giving way to warm..."

Cottage Cheese Angst and the Distinct Possibility That I Have Fallen In Love With Raw Kale

2005-03-17T22:00:00.001-08:00

A few weeks ago I went with my mother to BJ's, one of those giant wholesale stores like Costco. To thank me for carrying things for her, she got me a whole bunch of groceries. One of the things I got was a giant vat of cottage cheese in a different brand from my usual Light and Lively Lowfat. This brand was only 110 calories per cup (as opposed to 160 in my usual) but had less protein and calcium. And it tasted so much better! I loved it! But I can't find it in my own market. So I've been experimenting with other kinds of cottage cheese. Most are similar in calories to my Light and Lively, but have 16% of the RDA of calcium per cup instead of 40%. A serious difference, worthy of eating cottage cheese that I like only slightly less. However, MR pointed out that the Light and Lively is fortified with calcium, and therefore, no better really than supplements. So I must ask him: should I continue to eat the Light and Lively, or is it just as good to eat the other stuff and perhaps supplement more? I still do pretty well on calcium. I will let you know what he says.

Meanwhile, I love raw kale. Kale is the serious woman's green. Is it no pathetic, wilty, lame lettuce served on salads to dieters in the late 1970's. It is so far from iceberg lettuce that one hesitates to call iceberg a "green." Raw kale is tough, chewy, calcium filled and delicious. I adore it with a bit of flax and olive oil, finished off with red wine vinegar and fresh ground pepper. Yummy!!! Of course, nothing can compare with MR's breakfast salad, in which raw kale is only one of many exquisite greens. But here in the real world, where we must occasionally return between trips to the all inclusive CR spa and resort, a plate of 100 g of raw kale really hits the spot. I was wondering about the bioavailability of its calcium. So of course I did an archive search. MR says it's the most calcium filled of greens, but I didn't get far enough to determine whether or not it is as bioavailable as all that. It totally rocks out my calcium when I enter it on my software. But is that all being absorbed? Is it a good source? Should I just ask him? Or will he tell me to pretend I'm still just admiring him from afar and spend the night searching the CR Society archives?

Last night was delicous... a baked feta appetizer, sweet potato soup, scallop entree, and a heavenly red wine. We skipped dessert but went out to a really fun bar I love in center city Philly for cosmos after dinner. I stayed over at VLC's and we woke up in the middle of the night and spent our insomnia attack chatting and giggling like schoolgirls. She absolutely loved her present! The important people in my life may find themselves receiving AOR supplements, Brian Delaney's book, and my friend Emma's fiance's pottery on all holidays for the foreseeable future.

Foreseeable. Another word Aubrey de Grey taught me how to spell. I am fairly sure there is a deep meaning to be learned from the words Aubrey teaches me to spell, but I'm not sure what the lesson is. Yet.

You're probably wondering what I ate today. Sure enough, it was a low hunger day.

983 calories.
Over 100% on everything except:
Calcium 94%
Iron 51%
Panto Acid 42%
Zinc 36%

breakfast:
cup eggwhites scrambled, 1 teaspoon flax oil

lunch:
cup of cottage cheese

dinner:
100 g raw kale topped with a half teaspoon of flax oil and filled the rest of a tablespoon up with olive oil, plus red wine vinegar
brewers yeast and broth soup with carrots, cauliflower, broccoli
glass of red wine

P:F:C = 43:26:31

Not too bad.

It's VLC's Birthday!

2005-03-16T20:41:00.000-08:00

Now I know there are a lot of VLC fans out there! She's kept me company through my entire CR journey, been extremely supportive of my new venture as fundraiser, even though it meant abandoning her at my old job, and she's listened to me quote the CR Society archives for hours without even once threatening my life.

Tomorrow is her birthday! She'll be 24! So tonight some friends and I are taking her out.

Now this is a good example of how averaging makes my life easier. I'm going out tonight to a really good Philly restaurant, and I'll be eating a lot and drinking more than one glass of wine. I saved up yesterday by skipping my night time glass of red. Tonight, I'm going to concentrate on eating high quality food that I really love, high protein, low carb, and enjoying myself. Chances are, I'lll split a salad with VLC, eat some kind of seafood entree, and share maybe a bite of a dessert with the others. Tomorrow, if the snake-like pattern of my eating holds true, I will not be very hungry and will have a low day. That's an okay compromise for now. A far cry from the old days when I'd eat the bread, pasta, a high-sugar foofy drink, and dessert.

I'm very excited about her birthday present. For her birthday, I asked MR to do her supplement plan, based on my crunching of her diet on my software. He did, and I'm picking up the stuff for her next time I'm in Canada. She's into supplements, as well as CR, and she'll just love it. How's that for a personalized gift that keeps on giving? So many gifts aren't good for us, or just aren't that special. This one is really, really special, and is also representative of how much I care about her (I want her to be healthy) and an interest we have in common.

Won't that be fun???

I got her a card that seems most appropriate to a "Live long - live young!" themed gift. It reads:

"Only the good die young. We bitches live forever."

Ides of March

2005-03-16T12:26:00.000-08:00

Not a bad day, calorie-wise, though I didn't have my brewers yeast, which always means that I'll be lacking in nutrients. Brewers yeast really is my magic superfood. Glad I'm not allergic!

Total cals: 1118
Over 100% on everything except:
66% copper
63% iron
81% magnesium
57% manganese
65% B6
74% thiamine
67% niacin
63% panto acid
69% phospherous
33% zinc

To put this in perspective, if I had eaten two tablespoons of brewers yeast, I would have cleared the RDA's on everything, except for:

48% zinc
77% iron
75% manganese

That's a huge difference.

MR -- is there any problem with me eating brewers yeast every day, as long as I take my zinc supplement? I already searched the archives, thank you very much! ;)

Here's what I ate:

pre-breakfast:
1.5 oz crangrape juice with my creatine and strontium

breakfast:
eggwhites and flax oil

lunch:
salad with cottage cheese, romaine, tomatoes, olives, tiny bit of parmesean cheese, honeydew melon, strawberries, vinegar and olive oil
cup of tomato bisque soup (not a great choice but really yummy and not a disaster)

dinner:
eggplant sauteed in stewed tomatoes with asparagus chopped in, cottage cheese blended in after serving. tastes vaguely like my lasagna dish. I rather undercooked the eggplant though, leading to a bizarre rubberiness.
diet tonic water with lime: it's a ginless gin and tonic! Skipped the wine as will have more than one glass when out tonight at very special party!

Check out my P:F:C ratios for yesterday: 29:32:39.

Zone that, baby!

I had quite a bit of oil and olives, plus the milk based soup, hence a higher fat day than usual. This is a good thing, I think, though it would have been better if all the fat were unsaturated instead of some of it coming from a milk based soup.

So brewers yeast seems to be the order of the day. What did I do before I met it?

Testing One Two Three...

2005-03-16T05:56:00.000-08:00

Blog spot is being freaky. This is a test.

Love Angel Music Baby

2005-03-15T22:21:00.000-08:00

It was recently brought to my attention that this blog is seriously lacking in love letters to MR.

Okay, so that's the most absurd thing I've read all day.

Actually, I was just writing on another topic that this blog has been a love letter to MR since the beginning. Sure, there are eggwhites, there is brewers yeast (three cheers for the people who thought I was talking about brewers yeast in the "This Time I Really Think I'm In Love" issue) there are calorie counts and descriptions of Aubrey de Grey and all sorts of things, but basically, it's all about MR.

Here's what I wrote:

One of my CR brothers pointed out to me that my blog is all about MR. That's probably true. From the beginning, the blog has been a testament to my respect for the man who started out as my CR guru, rapidly became my inspiration for saving my own life from the downwardspiral of ill-health that we've seen too many of ourfriends and family fall into, and has now become my lover, my partner in the fight against the unnecessary suffering of aging, and my daily reminder that life is worth fighting for.

So I thought it was time to write my commentary on the new Gwen Stefani CD. It's called "Love Angel Music Baby," which is a line from the song "Rich Girl." I love four noun album titles. One of my favorites of all time, the Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Blood Sugar Sex Magic" could be a great CR blog entry, if only you made it "Bloodsugar Sex Magic." Get it? It's a low carb thing, you wouldn't understand.

So of course when I heard the song and bought the album, I thought of my CR angel... and there really aren't enough public written records of how much I adore him, are there?

[a brief note: if you think it's irritating to read about, you ought to see us when we're together. luckily, the people who've actually been forced to be around us: Aubrey de Grey, Keven Perrott, MR's parents and brother, are all happy people who are downright ecstatic that two weird people like us have found each other. So they're okay with it. I don't know what the random people who are forced to watch the two skinny redheads kissing on the bus think, but until they actually throw us off public transportation, I'm not planning to change anything.]

It may seem odd that I found so much inspiration for a serious life change from the nacho and margarita diet to the super healthy brewers yeast and eggwhites and pinot noir diet that we now see me enjoying from the writings of a rather un-approachable stranger. I had a big crush on MR long before I ever saw his picture -- watching a TV interview with him only sealed it. His writings, stored up in the magestic archives of the CR Society (I will always be grateful to one of my CR brothers for restoring the archives after a catastrophic crash last spring) were like a lifeline to me. I knew I wanted to change... had to change... but I didn't know how. I saw his name flash across my inbox over and over again, and I started reading his posts. At first, I'd just skim them for the funny lines. Gradually it began to sink in. And then when I started to change my diet, and saw visible, dramatic results, I came to trust him. All the while he had no idea that I existed.

MR's writings can be harsh, fire and brimstone, sinners in the hands of an angry P:F:C ratio. That's what I needed to shake me out of high carb hell. No ordinary nutrition book would have done it.

He continues to be my inspiration to improve my diet, life and health even more. All the more so because I want to spend as much time with him as possible, and that means being young and healthy, not old and sick.

What's so weird about that? So what if love is the thing that makes you change for the better?

You're probably wondering what I ate today. Well, I'll tell you. But in the next entry. I haven't eaten dinner yet.

I Have A Confession To Make

2005-03-15T00:59:00.000-08:00

This will shock, and perhaps horrify you.

Are you ready?

I like imitation crab meat.

I ate some today. It's on the salad bar at my grocery store. I got some. I took it home and weighed it on my fancy scale. 130 grams. 133 calories. Almost all protein. Heaven only knows what it's made of. But I find it very yummy.

I ate eggwhites and flax oil for breakfast, followed by cottage cheese and a grocery store salad for lunch. For dinner, VLC stopped by for some cruciferous brewers yeast soup. Glass of cabernet (yes, sometimes I drink non-pinots. deal with it.)

Now I am tired... got a good grant application sent off and some other stuff done today that was important. The cats are getting used to having me around, though Kieffer still thinks that I should be feeding him at all times. He sleeps in his basket under my desk most of the time.

Got an interesting email from one of my life extension heroes today that mentioned metformin... asked MR about it and he said, "Go search the archives. ;)"

He winked at me, but I think you'll see that he makes no exceptions to the "find out for yourself" rule, even in my case. I searched the archives and read his posts on the topic. Very informative. It was nice to get a little dose of my favorite old drug, the CRS archives.

Nutritional analysis for today says:
Total Calories: 1023
P:F:C = 52:18:30 (I know I am in trouble -- low fat!!!)
66% iron, 44% Panto Acid, 39% Zinc, 89% calcium.
The rest all way over 100%.

MR says that if four times a week I am eating brewers yeast and getting in the 400% of my copper RDA, I should take zinc every day.

I am tired... to bed soon.

Are You Ready For Another Life?

2005-03-13T23:31:00.000-08:00

Everything is different now.

Volume three.

Today's food:

eggwhites and flax oil: 165

1 cup cottage cheese: 160
100g kale: 50
1 teaspoon flax oil + 1 tablespoon olive oil: 80

2 tablespoons brewers yeast in two cups of free range organic chicken broth
with half a bag of frozen broccoli, cauliflower and carrots: 265

glass of red wine: 100
hazelnuts: 100 (yes, I still have nuts in my freezer. I'm not anti-nut, I just prefer flax oil for omega 3 balance. as they say, everything is different now.)

Software says: 920
P:F:C 51-29-20
90% calcium, 48% iron, 35% zinc, 39% panto acid. Way over 100% on everything else -- way, way over on some.

403% copper? Huh? Where's that coming from? MR -- what's up with my zinc and copper balance? You may need to write a guest issue on that topic.

I am finding it comforting to be back with my happy foods. The eggwhites were so delicious this morning! And my brewers yeast soup... yum!

CR is a different kind of life, but I can't imagine going back to how I was before.

I am still listening to "Everything Is Different Now."

And Will You Stand Here In This Fire With Me?

2005-03-13T21:54:00.000-08:00

I knew that wedding song would be good for at least three blog headlines.

I was thinking today about some of my CR brothers and sisters with whom I've become very close in the last year. I've often said that I would never have been able to do CR without the CR Society. There are two reasons why: 1) The things I read on the list taught me how to change my diet so that I could be vibrantly healthy in a way I had never been before on very few calories 2) The support of my CR brothers and sisters has made it possible for me to not just change my diet but to change my life.

Listening to "Everything Is Different Now" on continuous repeat most of the day (my neighbors deserve this... they invite elephants and screaming toddlers to their house at 2 am) I reflected on the truly remarkable nature of that support. Remembering how Mary took so much time to help me figure out my diet... how two of my CR brothers have spent a great deal of their own time working with me on the connection between my diet and my anxiety levels... how when I think of my closest friends, CR folk whom I'd never even heard of a year ago are in the top five.

What is it about us that makes us stick together, be there for each other, and take time out of our busy days to support each other?

I think a lot of it can be explained in the fact that we're just weird. We know we're weird, and everytime we read a popular press account of our diet and lifestyle, we're reminded. To be both convinced that adopting a lifestyle where you put health above immediate gratification is pretty darned weird. We watch the people around us killing themselves slowly with our society's favorite poisons, and we make a different choice.

I also think that the kind of person who is attracted to CR loves life, and wants to share it. The same kind of person is attracted to the M Prize... it's one reason why I consider the non-CR'd M Prize brothers to be "one of us" too.

It's been less than a year, and so much has changed. Sometimes when I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror I barely know it's me. All my life, I hated my body. Silly, really, because I was always one of those girls that boys thought was perfect, even though I always thought I was a touch too fat for fashion. Now I'm at peace with my body... and those struggles feel like they happened to someone else. Remember back in "Women's Magazines" when I wrote that the feeling of breaking lose from the body image obsession that consumes most American women felt like shattering a glass? In the video for "Everything Is Different Now," Don Henley shatters a martini glass. You can watch the video here: http://music.yahoo.com/track/1821025

I could do it because I found people who were willing to stand here in this fire with me. People who gave up their time, their mental energy, and were there for me through all the struggles -- not about food but about life, about who we will be and what's worth spending our life energy on.

She said I don't care what you do for a living
I don't care what kind of car you drive
And will you stand here in this fire with me?
Are you ready for another life?
I bit that bullet, I took that vow
And everything is different now.

Everything Is Different Now

2005-03-13T09:21:00.000-08:00

Last night I was the maid of honor in my best friend's wedding. She married a man who is also a good friend of mine, and who shares with me a deep attachment to pop music. He and I used to listen to each others' mix tapes and understand exactly what was going on in each others' lives. In fact, I once made him promise that he would never translate my tapes for anyone without my permission. (Lately, however, I've made some mix tapes that even the most pop music challenged can readily comprehend.) So of course I was quite curious as to what he would choose as their wedding song. He choose "Everything Is Different Now" by Don Henley, which you really should listen to. I didn't realize until I wrote down the lyrics that it actually has a vague allusion to a wedding, but even taken out of the context of marriage, it's a beautiful and moving song. If you can possibly manage it, listen to the song.

So how does this tie into CR? You're waiting to see if I'm going to pull off another one of those "The John Cougar Mellancamp quote is actually about brewers yeast!" moves, aren't you?

No, not quite. But as I get closer to my first CR birthday, I am reflecting a lot on how much I've changed. CR has had some unexpected side effects, to be sure. Results not typical!

I have Steve to thank for many many important songs in my life, so I'll thank him for this one too:

I hate to tell you this
But I'm very, very happy
I know that's not
What you'd expect from me at all
I'm not the kind
To smile and bow out gracefully
I always wanted to take it to the wall

But I've found somebody
With a heart as big as Texas
I've found an angel
With the golden wings
She saw me down here in the dark somehow
And everything is different now

Yeah I miss the old crowd
The wild nights of running
You know a starving soul
Can't live like that for long
You go around in circles
Just keep getting smaller
Wake up one morning
And half your life is gone

I got so tired of that
I got so lonely
I dropped down and called out to heaven
Send me someone to love
Heaven shot back
You get the love that you allow
And everything is different now

She said I don't care what you do for a living
I don't care what kind of car you drive
All I want to know right now
Is what you believe in
What it means to you to be alive

And will you stand here in this fire with me?
Are you ready for another life?
I bit that bullet
I took that vow
And everything is different now.

Everything is different now.

How Not To Eat

2005-03-12T11:40:00.000-08:00

This weekend, I am the maid of honor in my best friend's wedding. It's a very fancy occasion in Philly, with the ceremony at a beatiful hall in Rittenhouse Square. Last night was the rehearsal dinner, at a really nice Italian restaurant in South Philly. I spent lots of time in advance discussing with MR how I would handle the food challenge. Unlike tonight, when it will be a buffet, this was a sit down dinner where they just bring you the food. Needless to say, I didn't want to call attention to what I was eating. But I figured by eating small amounts I'd do fine.

Well, I was totally wrong. And when I look back at my blog records, I can see why. In a classic example of the theory of averaging that I'm trying to stop doing, I ate enough last night to make up for the very low calorie week I had when I barely went above 1000 all week.

For one thing, I had barely eaten all day. We got some exciting news over in M Prize world, and so I was working on that, finishing a grant application I wanted to send off, and then I had an appointment with my accountant that gave me lots of opportunity to reflect on the US tax code. Yikes. So all I had eaten was my breakfast eggwhites and flax oil (total 180 with the grape juice creatine chaser) and then a cup of cottage cheese (160). The dinner was supposed to start at 7 pm, and I was there right on time. I had a glass of wine while waiting for everyone to show up (I was the first one there) and there was a long, long cocktail hour during which everyone gathered and talked and drank. By the time we sat down to dinner, it was well after eight, and I was starving! I usually eat dinner at around 6, and I was starving then because I hadn't eaten enough during the day, and had eaten lightly the previous several day. Then there were not really choices as to what to eat. There was a salad, then there was choice of pork chop stuffed with something or other, a chicken dish, or black cod. I went with the chicken, which was delicious. So I ate all the salad, all of that, two little pieces of bruchetta that was served as an appetizer, and yes, I even ate the small sliver of chocloate cake they passed around for dessert. By the time I left (and I was the first one to leave) it was 10:30 and I so tired!

The moral of the story: if you're already under calories for the week, eat *before* you're confronted with a bunch of high calorie delicious food!

Still "averaging." Blergh.

The bride gave me a great looking cookbook called "High Calcium, Low Calorie." Isn't that sweet!!!!

Off to the wedding... well, to get my hair done, then to pictures, then to the wedding, then to the reception.

Another Good CR Day

2005-03-09T21:10:00.001-08:00

I'm glad you guys don't come here for entertainment, because my diet is awfully boring when I'm at home. But I love it! The eggwhites, the brewers yeast, the cottage cheese... all my favorites!

Today:

Pre-breakfast (creatine chaser, 1/2 teaspoon of creatine)
Crangrape juice 20

Breakfast:
1 cup eggwhites scrambled 125
Teaspoon flax oil 40

Lunch:
100 g kale 50
1 teaspoon olive oil 40
1 teaspoon flax oil 40
1 cup cottage cheese 160

Afternoon snack:
Blueberry Atkins "Morning Start" bar: 160

Dinner:
1/2 bag of carrots, cauliflower and broccoli 75
cup of chicken broth 15
two tablespoons brewers yeast (new brand, higher cal) 160
Calcium chewy: 20

Tonight I will cuddle up with two of my favorite things on earth: a glass of pinot noir, and an article by MR. MR sent me two articles he's been working on, and all day I've been fighting the urge to print and read them. I am only allowed to read them before bed, during my "reading hour" from 9 pm to 10 pm. Last night I fell asleep reading a document about writing good funding proposals that another M Prize brother sent me. Woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of my cat shredding the paper. She will no doubt take a bit out of MR's article, but that only makes it more authentic.

If anyone wants to send me your diet off blog, feel free to write me at aprilsmith12 at yahoo dot com.

Here is my nutritional analysis for today:
Over 100% of everything except Iron 42%, Panto Acid 33%???, and Zinc, 32%

Calories: 990

P:F:C = 55:22:23

Now that's weird. That's Atkinsish. I am way high protein, low fat, low carb. No wonder I feel good. I am a high protein girl. We'll see what MR says about this. He may tell me to eat another teaspoon of olive oil before bed, and if he does, I will.

Another Good CR Day

2005-03-09T21:10:00.000-08:00

Another Good CR Day

2005-03-09T15:10:00.000-08:00

Hi Michelle and Laura!

2005-03-09T12:53:00.000-08:00

Hi Michelle and Laura, and all other bloggiefriends!

Just a quick note before I get back to writing grant applications.

Welcome! So glad you like the blog! And that you're not groaning at the constant chatter of a geeky fangirl in love. Personally, I think the love story is the most fun part, but I do love my eggwhites too!

Michelle wrote:

Hello April, I have been reading your post for a while now and have decided to give CR a try. You are very inspirational !!The problem is that I just don't know where to start. I am female, 32yrs old and currently weigh 107. I don't know how low I should take my calories since I don't want to drop too much too quickly. Do you have any ideas as to a good calorie goal to hit without losing too much too quick??ThanksMichelle

How tall are you Michelle? I'm guessing you're about my height, which is just under 5'2". Sounds like you're already quite thin, so your rate of weight loss should be slower than mine was. When I started, I was five pounds overweight at 137. I lost about five pounds a month in the beginning, which for you would mean you would waste away to nothing and that would defeat the purpose! What we really need to do is determine how many calories you're eating now, figure out where you're lacking essential nutrients, adjust your protein, fat, carb ratio to get you maximum strength, energy, and general happiness out of your calories, and then figure out how to gradually cut down the total number of cals. If you send me a couple of representative days of your current diet, I'll crunch them on my software and help you figure it out. You probably don't want to lose more than two pounds a month, maybe even less. I'll ask MR what he thinks. When he started CR, he was already thin. So you're probably more like him. You should also read, if you haven't yet, Dr. Roy Walford's _The Beyond 120 Year Diet_. It has some great basics. Two words of warning though: I found Walford's high carb, lowfat diet unsustainable at a low calorie level. That's why I went to more Zone-like ratios. Besides the fact that Little MR told me to and Tall MR was just so darned convincing in all his rantings on the subject. Also, I think Walford has a limited understanding of the different experiences women have on CR from men. His chapter on weight loss is an example: he outlines a linear pattern of weight loss, and women just don't work that way. We have tremendous shifts in our weight based on time of the month, exercise, how much we eat the night before. I have been known to weigh four pounds more at 7 pm than I did at 5 am. This is obviously none other than water weight. I'll blog more about women's issues soon, I promise. In the meantime, Walford gives great basics. Soon, a book by Brian Delaney, the president of the CR Society, and Lisa Walford, Roy's daughter and a long term CR practitioner and yoga teacher, should be coming out that promises to be very accessible and easy to use. I'll post the link to where you can order it as soon as it's published.

Laura wrote:

Hi April,I've been doing CR about a year and recently discovered your blog. I love your upbeat tone, practical tips on what to eat, and especially the great story of you and MR. Thanks so much for the recipes today.I am 5'2", 38 years old, and 108 lbs. I eat between 1100 and 1500 calories a day, following the zone approach. I love what CR has done for my appearance, and I like how much more alert I am with the Zone meals. I do sometimes find myself with low energy and hungry. Maybe in the future you could post how you deal with these issues (if they arise at all for you). Thanks again for sharing your experiences.Laura

Hi Laura! We are twins! My CR birthday is coming up on March 26! And yes, MR is going to make me a birthday dinner and no doubt put a birthday candle in a megamuffin or something like that. I've been giving a lot of thought to the low energy and hunger issues, as that is a danger as I take my calories a bit lower. What I always find helps me (disclaimer: as we all know, I am in love with a man who advocates a fairly high protein diet) is to eat more protein. When I'm hungry, a shot of eggwhites fixes me right up. Sometimes I substitute another meal of eggwhites for my usual cottage cheese just to up my protein if I'm feeling hungry, edgy, anxious or somehow under the weather. These days I also take a teaspoon of flax oil with my eggwhites, and you could throw in some chopped tomato or green pepper and salsa to get the carbs and Zone it. Are you feeling irritable when you feel low energy and hungry? Have you been losing weight lately? One of my CR brothers has told me that when he is losing weight, he feels weak and hungry. He is already very thin, as are you, so you might be experiencing the same thing. Send me a day or so of your basic diet and I'll see if I can come up with any ideas.

I love you guys!!! Writing this blog really is the most fun thing on earth. Thanks for coming back.

Okay, now back to raising the money to mobilize the scientists to put an end to the suffering of degenerative diseases associated with aging.

Ring of Fire -- and Meals You Can Serve to Your Non-CR'd Significant Other

2005-03-09T09:19:00.000-08:00

Good morning bloggiefriends.

Hello Phoebe! The only Johnny Cash song with which I am really familiar is "Ring of Fire." The reason I know that song is that my high school best friend was in an a capella singing group in college, and one of her friends sang and a capella version of "Ring of Fire." It was truly bizarre. As my friend Emma, who is known for her ability to capture the essence of the moment, once said: "You haven't lived until you've heard the a capella group sing a Johnny Cash song.

Speaking of Emma, she suggested to me that I put together a week's worth of dinner menus from the blog. There's also been a demand lately for my CR meals that you can easily modify and serve to non-CR'd people, without messing up your own blissful CR'd ness at meals. I recognize that not everyone is lucky enough to have a partner who also does CR, and that for most of my readers, this is an issue that comes up quite frequently. What to feed self, while also feeding the husband/boyfriend/fiance and kids/pets?

I can't help you with the pets. My own cats won't eat my cooking... I was so upset the time I lovingly baked free range organic chicken livers in free range organic chicken broth and they turned up their little kitty noses at it. First time a living creature has refused to eat my food. But I can help you with the humans. So how's this? Quick and easy meals you can throw together when you walk in the door from work. Feel free to have one of Mary's lime juice, mineral water and vodka drinks while you cook.

Monday:
Shrimp and tomatoes in chardonnay sauce, served over rice for the significant other/kids, just plain for you. Asparagus on the side, with lemon juice, olive oil and pepper drizzled on top.

Buy shrimp that have already been peeled and de-veined. For every 200 grams of shrimp (200 calories) pour in three ounces/89 grams of chardonnay. Put this all in a pot and turn up the heat. Start stirring. Add chopped tomatoes, however many you want (tomatoes are generally 18 calories per 100 grams) and a little bit of either fresh garlic, minced, or some garlic powder. Stir until the shrimp are nice and pink and cooked. At the last minute or so, add a bit of cilantro... decide how much based on how much you like cilantro. Then drizzle in one teaspoon per person of olive oil. You can also add lime or lemon juice if you want... feel free to just throw it in from a bottle. Serve to yourself in a cup or bowl, serve to your significant other over rice or pasta.

While the shrimp are cooking, throw the asparagus either in a steamer pot, in a saucepan with just a covering of water, or in the microwave to steam. When they're pretty bright green but not overcooked, take them out, and add a teaspoon of olive oil per person and squeeze some lemon juice on top, add a dash of pepper and you can add a dash of half-salt if you wish.

That should take you no more than half an hour, start to finish. Depending on how carefully you want to measure it. 100 g of shrimp = approximately 100 calories (it varies just slightly based on kind of shrimp) and 18 g ish of protein. I tend to eat 100 g shrimp, MR eats 200 g shrimp at dinner. You may want to eat more than we do, that's fine. Or you may want to eat about what I do but feed your significant other more.

Tuesday:

Pasta free lasagna

You will need:

A baking dish
2 large cans of tomato sauce
Some red wine you don't mind cooking with
Garlic powder
1 can Artichoke hearts per two people
Zucchini
Red or green peppers
Cottage cheese, lowfat or fat free
Fresh or dried basil
Half-salt
Part-skim mozarella cheese
Greens of some kind: arugula if you can spend the money, spinach is fine, any dark leafy thing
I think kale would rock in this recipe, thanks to the CR brother who suggested it

Chop up the veggies, zucchini into little disks.
Mix the cottage cheese (1 cup per person) with garlic powder, half-salt, and basil.
Mix 3 oz per person cooking wine with the tomato sauce.
Line the pan with a layer of greens. Put on top of that a layer of zucchini disks. Cover with a thin layer of cottage cheese. Cover with a layer of other veggies (artichokes, peppers -- you can use whatever veggies you want). Cover with a layer of tomato sauce. Repeat.
When you run out of ingredients, cover with a final layer of tomato sauce, and then top with a thin layer of mozarella cheese.
Bake for about half an hour on maybe 350, or until the cheese looks all melty. Cook longer if you like your veggies mushier. Serve it like it's lasagna. It's a meal for you, for your significant other, serve with Italian bread or garlic bread.

More soon...

Supplements I Love, Supplements I Love But Not As Much

2005-03-08T04:52:00.000-08:00

[DISCLOSURE: I am madly in love with a man who used to make supplements for AOR. He tells me what supplements to take. Some of them are things he made.]

It occurred to me this morning that now that I've gotten used to my supplement routine, I've started to develop attachments to some of them, and to like others distinctly less. This seems silly, so I spent a moment with my supplements this morning deconstructing my feelings towards each of them.

First: Strontium Support, AOR, MR made it. I love this one. Even though the capsule is fairly big, I am attached to this one because I read MR's article about it while we were in the airport waiting for Aubrey de Grey to arrive in Calgary. It's a bone building pill, and that seems good, but mostly I like it because I really liked MR's article and I have this warm fuzzy memory of reading it while MR sat next to me reading one of Aubrey's articles.

Creatine: a not particularly good tasting powder that I have to take because I'm a vegetarian mostly. MR says we have to take it with a grape juice (or in my case cranberry grape) chaser so that it absorbs into the muscles with a little sugar. I like this one a lot when I'm at MR's cause he measures it out for me and kinda hovers over me while I take it, no doubt because it's amusing to watch me make a face when I taste the icky stuff. But I don't really like it when I'm at my own house because it takes yucky and it makes me miss MR.

After those dissolve for an hour, I eat breakfast, and here's what I take with breakfast:

I-3-C: This is a pill that fights the early stages of cervical cancer. MR made it for AOR after he read this amazing study where it actually reveresed cervical dysplasia. You can read about it here: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve&db=pubmed&dopt=Abstract&list_uids=10926790

or just check this out:

"Thirty patients with biopsy proven CIN II-III [cervical intraepithelial neoplasia grades II to II, on a III-point scale] were randomized to receive placebo or 200, or 400 mg/day I-3-C administered orally for 12 weeks. ... RESULTS: None (0 of 10) of the patients in the placebo group had complete regression of CIN. In contrast 4 of 8 patients in the 200 mg/day arm and 4 of 9 patients in the 400 mg/day arm had complete regression based on their 12-week biopsy."

Now that's big news out there for women who've had a bad pap smear and totally freaked out thinking we're going to get cervical cancer. Which is like everyone. So of course I love this supplement and of course I am extremely proud that I know the person who made it.

Essential Mix: 1 teaspoon. I love Essential Mix, my mom hates it, VLC loves it. I gave VLC an autographed carton (yes, I make MR autograph some, though not all, of the supplements he made. After all the willpower it took to *not* ask him to autograph RANT: Moderate CR, at the conference, even though I was carrying it around the entire time, I decided that from now on I'm just going to be a geeky fangirl and he doesn't seem to mind) as a present when I got back from Calgary, and she mixes hers into a yogurt and fruit smoothie.

Taurine: I take this on every other day, and it's in the category of "Vegetarian supplements"
My memory of taurine before I met MR was that it's what cats have to have, and why they can't be vegans. Not that I ever tried to make my cats be vegans -- they aren't even CR'd (obviously as Kieffer weighs 20 pounds and is a giant housecat, not a CR'd bobcat.) I can't get all that attached to taurine. I mean, it's fine, but I don't *love* it the way I love I3C, strontium and Essential Mix.

Between breakfast and lunch:
1 Carnosine
1 Aceyl-L-Carnitine

I don't know what these guys do. My main association with them is that it's hard to remember to take them, as I have to have them at least one hour after breakfast and one half hour before lunch. Even in Calgary MR kept forgetting to give them to me.

Lunch:
1 zinc. Yeah, zinc and me, we go way back. If you missed the "it's not Advil, it's zinc" issue, I suggest you go back and read it. No further comment, except that I keep taking zinc, even though it is obviously personally out to get me, because MR has a terrible story about zinc deficiency.

1 Menatetrenome/Peak K2
This is another bone thing, and I love it because it's a tiny little yellow pill and very cute. It also sounds like metronome, that thing I had when I took piano lessons, and I think that's funny. I also like anything with Vitamin K in it.

1 Choline + Inositol
I have no idea what this does, but I do feel a sense of accomplishment when I take it.

Dinner:
I3C Love it
1 teaspoon Essential Mix Love it
1 Calcium Chewy
I take those chewy chocolatey calcium things, and they're so good. It's like having dessert. They also take along time to eat.
1000 IU vitamin D on alternate days (I am looking at MR's note that says "arrange your pillboxes" and thinking that I haven't told him that I'm still taking everything straight from the bottle unless I'm on a trip, in which case I've just been putting what I need into zip lock bags. He really thinks I should get pillboxes. Maybe I will, but the system of taking them from the bottles seems to eliminate a step, and since I take so few, it's not a hassle. And I get to revisit all the pretty labels.)

That's my day. I'm getting pretty good at taking all of them, and I have no trouble whatsoever remembering if it's an alternate day.

Now don't go taking exactly what I'm taking, because you're not me! MR figured out what I should be taking based on an analysis of my diet, my lifestyle, and my personal risk factors.

The MR Button On My Scale Is Broken!

2005-03-07T18:11:00.000-08:00

Recently we had a discussion about how we CR people appreciate the finer points of food scale accuracy and performance. Well, after spending eleven days with MR and his digital scale, I could no longer handle the inexactness of either a non-digital scale or just figuring things out from the package. So my mother got on e Bay and ordered me a great scale. Only $36! And here's all it does:

It has a tare function, so you don't have to constantly subtract for the bowl or whatever. It has this book of codes for food, and if you put a food on the scale, punch in its code, it will give you the calories, fat grams, protein grams, carbs, and cholesterol. Isn't that awesome! My mom and I played with it for about half an hour when I first got it. Hours of entetainment for the entire family.

The only problem is, it has this button that says "MR." When I hit the button, obviously I expect MR to appear. So far this hasn't happened, which leads me to think that the MR button is somehow malfunctioning. Since the scale has so many other good points, I guess I will let it slide, but I was mightily disappointed that the MR button didn't cause MR to appear.

Yesterday was a good CR day. Atkins nutritional bar for breakfast (more about those in a minute), eggwhites with flax oil for lunch, and for dinner I met a friend at a brew pub, where I had a salad that was grilled shrimp over romaine lettuce with sauteed red pepper, tomato, squash and zucchini on top. Quite delicious. I also had some beer, which I only drink these days when I'm either a) at a place that brews their own beer or b) with Aubrey de Grey. Other than that, it's red wine for me.

Today has been a light day. I'm feeling a bit under the weather and not very hungry, but I'm eating protein and omega three's when I eat. I had my eggwhites and flax oil at about noon... events conspired this morning to prevent me from eating breakfast.

More soon... back to work. Yahoo is having some sort of issues now so I can't get into my email, and figured I'd say hi to the bloggiefriends in the interim.

Learning To Say, "No, Thank You"

2005-03-06T16:38:00.000-08:00

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about social eating, and in the last twenty-four hours have had some very meaningful exchanges with two of the CR brothers whom I most respect on the topic. The first, it will come as no surprise, was MR. We had a conversation we've had many times before, that goes something like this:

AS: I know that I'll feel a lot better if I consistently eat 1100 calories a day than if I continue to try to "average" by going under for a few days and then going out with my friends and eating a lot of food of indeterminate calorie content.

MR: That's true.

AS: And I feel so much better, incredibly better, when I'm at your house eating very carefully measured 1000 calories a day all perfectly Zoned and omega 3/6 balanced and all that.

MR: That's true too.

AS: But I have such a hard time navigating social situations in which the entertainment is going out to eat. I'm not willing to give up going out with my friends -- hey, it's fun! But I just don't feel very good when I eat that way, and I really want to be at my top performance potential.

MR: That's true too.

AS: So I really have to decide what's most important to me. Eating high calorie, high carb food when I'm out, or feeling great all the time?

MR: You can do it! Go April! Yay!

Actually, I'm totally paraphrasing MR's part in the conversation, in order to make the point that he never tells me what to do, he is just extremely supportive of any decision I make to take better care of myself, while simultaneously understanding that his choices about how to eat in social situations are often different from mine. A lot of people have asked me if he puts pressure on me to be more strict about my CR, and I can honestly say that he doesn't at all. But he knows how much unpleasantness it has caused me to deviate from my healthy, happy, low carb low calorie eating plans, and how very happy I am when I stay low calorie, low carb, and mildly Zoned. He's also very good at helping me figure out new "tweaks" to my diet to even further improve my mood and mental performance.

The other CR brother with whom I spoke about this issue yesterday expressed a slightly different, but also admirable attitude, which I believe could be summed up in the instruction: "Just tell 'em to go to hell!" He related stories of going to restaurants with people who were eating and drinking only a glass of water. It appears that the world does not end when he does this, and that people have gotten used to it.

I was discussing the angst I feel when I am in a situation where I am confronted with a situation where in the past, I would have had at least a small portion of whatever treat was on offer.

I think there are two kinds of social eating situations that present a challenge for me. I'll take them separately.

1) Social eating situations where I actually don't want to the food on offer at all, I am just trying not to cause a scene. This extends to situations where I just order off a menu instead of engaging in negotiations about how a dish is prepared because I fear the disapproving looks of my companions. Or when I eat a portion of something so as not to seem to be a perfect little princess who never eats anything "bad" and whom everyone therefore hates.

2) Social eating situations in which I actually really like the food on offer, and I eat some of it, even though I know I will feel sub-par the next day or a few hours later. This happens in situations where I would not even be in the company of the food if it weren't for going out with friends.

The two kinds of situations are quite different, and I'm working on strategies for managing both.

Situation 1. My ideal scenario is one in which when I am confronted with this scene, I feel a long skinny hand on my shoulder and a voice that is soft yet firm behind me says, "She's not going to eat gak and you can't make her. And if you try, I'm going to get the Princess out on the Millenium Falcon."

Now keep in mind that I am not and have never been the kind of woman who sits around waiting to be rescued. Note: financial independence, good job, nice apartment, Geo Prizm, well-adjusted cats, and the habit of buying my own rings. If anything, I have historically identified with that part in Jedi when Leia rescues Han from the deep freeze in Jabba's palace.

"Who are you?" "Someone who loves you."

Beautiful kissing scene interrupted by deep evil laugh of Jabba the Hut.

Anyway, I recognize that most of the time MR will be too busy writing for Aubrey to show up behind my chair at dinner parties and rescue me. And really, I can take care of myself. But you'd have to admit, it's a nice daydream. In an amusing mulit-tasking variation, MR interrupts his most recent round of scientific debate with Aubrey to appear at my side and protect me from high carb gak, and shortly thereafter, Aubrey appears too and hands me a beer. That would sorta defeat the purpose of avoiding the high carb gak, but it would be really funny, and if I'm going to consume high carb gak, I'd rather it be drinking beer with Aubrey.

Failing dramatic scenes involving teleportation, here's how I need to handle the situations where I eat something I really don't want to eat, that I know will send me into high carb angst hell.

"No thank you."

Wow, that was easy.

And if some of my companions get really, really mad? Really, really, irrationally mad at me for turning down something that perhaps in my previous life I might have been willing to sample?

Well, for one thing, it's unlikely that any of them will physically harm me. So what am I really afraid of? I, like most women, am afraid of causing a scene of any kind. I don't want to make others feel self-conscious about their choices, which is what inevitably happens when you make very different choices. And I don't want to be perceived as a goody two-shoes princess. Which is how people who visibly make healthy food choices are perceived in our sick society.

So here's what I will do. I will conjure up in my mind the last time a person got really, really irrationally mad at me. And then I will figure out if in response to that situation I either:

a) lived
b) died

If a, then I will stand by my choice to say "No, thank you," politely but without explanation.

If b, then I won't have a lot of choices at all, and my entire CR life-extension project will have failed miserably.

Situation 2. When confronted with a situation in which I would like the food, the food looks good, the food is something I would have very much enjoyed in the past but at this point in time eating it is not consistent with my larger goals of peak mental performance, optimal nutrition, and keeping my calories as low as possible.

This one is really much harder because all attempts as easy, one size fits all solutions seem to fail. That's one nice thing about being at the All-Inclusive CR Spa and Resort -- there in just no choice between optimal CR and optimal socializing. MR and I can sit around talking about food while we eat our perfectly Zoned weighed out weird vegetables and everything is good with the world. But my other friends don't eat like that, and going out for good meals with them is something I very much enjoy and don't want to give up.

So here's a proposal for a working solution. Let's see how it goes:

a) I will not eat anything I don't love. I came up with this rule the other day when one of the friends whom I am coaching on her CR diet said she didn't like cottage cheese but that she was forcing it down because it has protein and calcuim. I immediately blurted out, "Never eat food you don't love!" I firmly believe that if you're going to reduce your calories, you should make every calorie something you thorougly enjoy. So when I'm out, I will eat only foods I absolutely adore, like scallops.

b) I will stop looking at dinners/lunches out as occasions where I go over calories, but will rather look at them as occasions to get nutrients that are not always present in my basic at home diet. For example, I tend to come up low on zinc. That is, on days when I don't mistake my zinc supplement for Advil and take five. Anyway, oysters are high in zinc, but I have no idea how to cook them so I don't make them at home. If out, I could eat a small seafood stew with oysters and get some zinc.

c) I will raise my daily total to 1100 on at home normal eating days, but I will try very very hard to *not* go over 1100 on days when I eat out. That may mean eating more lightly at other meals and eating very lightly when I am at a restaurant, or eating only foods of relatively well-known calorie content (like a salad with grilled chicken).

d) I will avoid all high carb darkness foods like bread as though they were poison, which to me they are.

e) I will continue to enjoy going out with my friends, and I will enjoy delicious food that I don't know how to make at home, but I will do so in smaller amounts and in combinations that support optimum functioning, both mental and physical.

In short, I will learn to say "No, thank you," to things that aren't good for me, and things I don't really want.

Because the mental clarity, the feeling of being perfectly healthy, that I get from eating right is so much better than a bite of something I don't really love. Because the possibility of living long enough to take advantage of the work I'm fundraising for is much more exciting than a piece of bread.

Sometimes there's just no contest.

The Bride Loves Peeps!

2005-03-05T03:42:00.000-08:00

You know those disgusting marshmellow candies that they sell at Easter? Well, my friend Lisa, who is getting married next week, loves them. So I brought a couple of boxes to tonight's bachelorette party.

We ordered Thai take-out, and I shared a yellow curried vegetables with shrimp with another bridesmaid, along with steamed vegetable dumplings and a papaya salad. Pretty good. I also ate a steamed vegetable spring roll. Everyone liked the raspberry vodka and diet coke drink I brought... low-ish on the carbs, but still festive for the party. Tons of fun.

The girls are downstairs watching movies, but I'm already hours past my bedtime so they let me come upstairs to a guest bedroom where I will be sleeping with the new kitten. The new kitten is really cute and a bit shy, but seems to like me. I think he will be a tall cat... big ears already, at five months. He likes to attack the large fern plant they have hanging in the bedroom. They put me in a room with internet access, so of course I am taking advantage of the opportunity to blog.

I also ate a S'more, and I'm figuring that the carb spike will make me feel weird in the morning. And get this -- after blogging about it, I forgot the eggwhites! I feel terrible! One of the other bridesmaids was counting on me to be the eggwhite bearer, and I failed! I may eat one regular egg for brunch tomorrow, but then I can go home and eat either eggwhites or cottage cheese. I'd have to admit that after being out so much as of late, I long for my boring old eggwhites, brewers yeast, and cottage cheese. And flax oil. Oh who am I kidding, I want my megamuffins!

I'll Bring the Eggwhites...

2005-03-04T10:51:00.000-08:00

Tonight I am going to a slumber party. No, I am not ten years old. It's a bachelorette party for my best friend who is getting married NEXT WEEK!!! Instead of going out and spending a lot of money to do things we don't enjoy anyway, the girls have decided to throw a slumber party. So we're getting together to watch movies, eat takeout, and I don't know... be girls?

We're getting Thai take out since Thai is one of the bride's favorites. Another bridesmaid is bringing fondue, I'm not sure if it will be chocolate or cheese. Then someone is making jello shots. I'm going to pass on the jello shots -- I figure if I didn't have them in college, it's too late now, and we know about the unfortunate effects of carbs on April's mood (raise your hand if you got the ever so slight reference in that sentence.) For brunch the next day, I've volunteered to bring eggwhites. I know that at least one of the other bridesmaids is an eggwhite eater. I may have to take a page from Mary's playbook re: Thai food. Mary eats healthy Thai, so I'll read some old entries in her blog for advice on what to order.

Last night I didn't end up eating much, and it was a very unusually low calorie day, no doubt in reaction to the large dinner I had the night before. I still tend to do some averaging, and even though I think it would be better for my health if I ate a consistent calorie level instead of having these up and down days. It's just so much easier to fit CR into socializing if I can go out and have dinners of indeterminiate calories from time to time. The funny thing is that I average naturally -- I am just not all that hungry the day after a big dinner, and I don't force myself to eat. I'm sure the average still comes out higher than it would if I simply stayed at 1100 consistently every day, but it's interesting to me that I just stop being hungry for a day or so after I've eaten a large meal. Like a large snake, digesting a delicious mouse.

Last night I didn't feel like cooking or eating much at all, and I had purchased these little Atkins low carb breakfast bars, creamy cinnamon bun flavor. They have 160 calories and 13 g protein. 2 net carbs. I bought them because MR was concerned that I skipped breakfast on Monday morning, and it occurred to me that if I could find something that I could just throw into my handbag and eat in a pinch when my darling eggwhites are not available, it would be a good thing. The problem with most "nutrition" bars is that they're just junk, lots of sugar and high calories. This one is pretty safe from a sugar standpoint, and it has a fair amount of protein. It also has 6 g fiber, which I guess is how they get the net carb count down. Instead of cooking, I ate an Atkins bar, and I'd have to admit, it was really, really yummy. These could be great things to have around for those emergencies when I'm travelling and don't have access to real food. Of course it's no substitute for my usual healthy protein, dairy and vegetable foods. But in a pinch, it'll do.

Now if only we could get Sherm to go into business packaging the megamuffins in these tiny air-tight packages that last forever.

Today I should be back to normal level hunger, and I already ate my eggwhites and flax oil breakfast. For lunch I may protein and vegetable load, since I'm not sure what food will be avaialble at dinner. I'm guessing, however, that the Thai place will make me some steamed vegetables with shrimp on top or some such thing. Still, not taking any chances with my protein. Today might be a double eggwhites day.

Low Calorie Thursday

2005-03-03T15:54:00.000-08:00

Breakfast: eggwhites scrambled 125 with teaspoon flax oil 40

Lunch: 1 cup cottage cheese, 160

Gotta eat something bigger for dinner. Haven't been feeling very hungry today... no doubt due to massive zinc overdose, or a rather large dinner I ate last night.

Exciting news: now, not one, but two of my friends have asked me to create CR diets for them! We're going over what they eat now, and I'm crunching their nuritional information on my DWIDP, then figuring out what they're missing and how to get it. We're also talking a lot about their diet and lifestyle, what they like to eat, what challenges they face with family and friends, etc. It's so much fun! I love to be able to take what I've learned and help others, and as MR or anyone who has been forced to spend time with me can attest, I love talking about CR!

Got some good M Prize work done today... getting ready for a meeting that I'll be attending with Aubrey de Grey in Montreal in March. He'll be debating Jay Olshansky at BIOMEDEX. Check out this archived post from http://www.fightaging.org for a preview of the debate: http://www.fightaging.org/archives/000379.php. I'm also engaged in a bizarre Kafka-esque round of communication with World Pay about acceptance of American Express as a way of donating. I'll spare you the details, but I seem to be caught in an infinite loop. You programmers out there will understand how that can be!

Glad Mary is taking her strontium on an empty stomach now... that reminds me, I have to make something for dinner so that I can take my supplements! Maybe I'll skip my zinc today.

Revenge of the Zinc

2005-03-03T15:34:00.000-08:00

Remember how for months on end I was blogging about the difficulty of getting enough calcium, iron and zinc? Well, the zinc got me back.

MR has me taking a zinc tablet every day, and I've been doing very well taking my supplements. I've also thought of eating oysters once a week since they're super high in zinc and I like them. That wasn't enough to satisfy the Spirit of the Zinc, I suppose, because it pulled a horrible trick on me last night.

Yesterday I couldn't find my bottle of generic ibuprofen, but I thought that I had put some into a little zip lock baggie for travel, so when I found some small pills in a bag with my calcium chewies, I thought, that must be the ibuprofen. So I took three.

About three hours later, I was still feeling horrible, and the ibuprofen didn't seem to be working. So I took two more and went to bed.

Then I woke up in the middle of the night, still in pain, but with a brainstorm about where the ibuprofen bottle might be. I opened the bottle and lo and behold, the ibuprofen isn't white. It's orange. The better to imitate Advil, I guess.

Oooops. It gradually dawns on me that those little white pills with my calicium chewies were the zincs I had packed when I went to Calgary. Ooops. So I had taken about five zincs, and I couldn't remember for sure if I might have had more earlier. No wonder they were working!

After some debate inside my head, I decided it wouldn't be good to call MR in the middle of the night to ask him if I was going to die of a zinc overdose. This morning when I told him the story he caught on right away, long before the punchline, and said, "It was zinc, wasn't it?"

I guess the zinc had the last laugh. No oysters for me.

So Why Did You Donate to the M Prize?

2005-03-02T12:00:00.000-08:00

That's a question I've asked a lot of people in the last few weeks.

When I first began the process of surveying our donors, one of my blog readers asked, "Are they mostly wealthy people who want to live forever?" I said I'd get back to you after doing more survey calls, but that so far, it seemed that M Prize donors were on average middle class people who are unusually engaged with the world around them and want to enjoy living in good health for as long as possible.

Well, now that I've surveyed the donors for whom we have good phone numbers and a few others who graciously responded to my email correspondence, I can give you some more detail.

Of course, one doesn't come out and ask people how much money they make. So I can't tell you exactly what the median income of an M Prize donor is. But I did find out a great deal about people's occupations. Many of our donors are students in the sciences. One of them, a graduate student, is planning to win the Prize himself!

Several are somewhere in the software industry. I solicited guesses as to why that is. Some absolutely brilliant responses came back. For instance:

"One thing which may attract computer geeks is the similarity of the genetic code to program code. Hacking the human genome seems to be attractive to many of these individuals."

Another thought: people in computers are expected to break new ground every day. They are constantly creating new worlds. Therefore, they are willing to take risks, to experiment with things that don't have a proven track record of success. Innovation is the name of the game -- so innovation in the science of remaining healthy longer is just as logical to them as innovation in software engineering.

Another large group of donors is entrepreneurs. The M Prize seems to attract successful business people. Their fields are very diverse, but several of them have taken tremendous risks, both personally and financially, to try something that had not been done before. Donors like this tend to answer, "Why did you decided to support the M Prize?" with phrases like, "most cost effective way to motivate research" or "successful business model."

Some of the M Prize donors have intensely personal reasons for their support. I've spoken with donors who live with debilitating illness, who hope for a future where medical advances can improve their lives dramatically.

Other threads running through the donor pool... they have seen the ravages of age-related illness up close. A parrish minister referred to visiting the sick and dying in hospitals. Another donor spoke of spending time with the sick as a part of his church work. Several had taken care of family members as they declined into ill health.

Some were very upfront about facing the possiblity of their own mortality. One donor in his sixties told me that if he were my age (30) he would put all of his energy into the M Prize and SENS initiatives, but that at his age, he is spending more of his time and energy on cryonics. That makes the most sense to him, when he surveys the timetables of what will be ready for him.

A relatively young donor, in his thirties, told me that he is signed up with Alcor, supports the M Prize, is a member of Life Extension Foundation, and is thinking about starting CR, all because he figures he may as well hedge his bets.

Several very long term CR practitioners are lurking around in the M Prize donor pool, and since they rarely post I had no idea. I've met two people who have been practicing CR for close to twenty years... that's inspiring!

There are several people in the donor pool who have changed their lives dramatically in order to fight aging full time. Two left successful careers to go back to school to become scientists. One left a job to become a research assistant to a scientist who is leading the fight.

One of the questions I asked donors was, "How did you find out about the M Prize?" Quite a few came across the website as the result of a search on life-extension related ideas. Others discovered it from other organizations focused on the same... one Three Hundred member told me that when he found out that both the Life Extension Foundation and the Foresight Institute were Three Hundred members, he was inspired to join as well.

Many others got involved with the M Prize through some sort of contact with Aubrey de Grey. Either hearing him speak or reading the information on his website (what's that address again? anyone, anyone? you guessed it, it's http://www.gen.cam.ac.uk/sens) One donor I spoke with wasn't quite sure where or when he had heard Aubrey speak -- he threw out a list of meetings where he may have first met Aubrey -- but he clearly remembered Aubrey's description of the Prize and how it works. Others were familiar with Aubrey's work from his postings on other life-extension related forums and discussion groups, where the M Prize is a frequent topic of discussion. Quite a few heard about the M Prize first from the Longevity Meme: http://www.longevitymeme.org or http://www.fightaging.org, two very comprehensive sites about life-extension created and maintained by Reason, one of the main M Prize volunteers. There's a small crossover appeal here -- that's where some M Prize donors found out about my blog! One of them has even started CR! You can check out his CR blog here at http://www.spaz.ca/blog.

Probably because I hit all the people I know personally early in the process, I surveyed a lot of people who found out about the M Prize from the CR Society or CR Society contacts. One person whom I had no idea was a CR Society member and had never met or corresponded with told me that he donated because he read MR's "Why I Joined the Three Hundred" post, which you can find here: http://www.longevitymeme.org/articles/printarticle.cfm?article_id=23
He also said that he now eats the peel with the orange on MR's advice. If that's not crossover appeal, then I don't know what is.

One of the Three Hundred brothers made the observation that M Prize donors seem to, as a group, be close to and very respectful of their parents. He asked that I incorporate that question into my survey, and I did where I could fit it into the conversation, though it wasn't always easy with the flow of topics. The answers came out about 2 to 1, people who were asked the question are very close to their parents. One donor spoke extensively about his concern for his parents' health, and the urgency that lends to his support for the Prize. This is certainly true for me... you don't have to read the blog very long to determine that my mother is my very best friend, and that wanting to keep her around and having fun longer is a big motivation for my work. I also found a fair number of people who weren't particularly close with their parents and even a smattering of those who weren't in communication with them. Impossible to draw conclusions from the sample size, but inspiring to hear the personal stories of people whose concern for their family members had motivated them to do something for the entire human family.

I discovered in the course of my calls that many of our donors are very heavily engaged in volunteer work. Of course, several of them spend hours and hours doing volunteer work for the M Prize. Others spent considerable time and energy volunteering for other organizations. Life-extension related organizations topped the list of things to which M Prize people devote their time, but others included church work and youth programs.

There aren't many women on the list, and to be honest, quite a few of the women on the list are people whom I recruited. One female CR Society member and CR practitioner who is now on the list of committed givers told me that when I explained the logic of the M Prize, it made perfect sense to her, but that she never would have thought to go looking for such a thing online. She has a background in environmental policy, and we had an interesting discussion about the overpopulation issue that Aubrey addresses here: http://www.gen.cam.ac.uk/sens/concerns.htm#opop

I had a long conversation with a female M Prize donor who joined up long before I came on the scene about why there are so few women. She had some fascinating insights: she said that women with children are more likely to volunteer for and donate to community based organizations that provide opportunities for their children. For instance, she is a mother of three and very involved in her church. She is passionate about extending healthy lifespans: in addition to donating to the M Prize, she is a CR practitioner. She spoke eloquently about the challenges and joys of bringing up three human beings to be happy, healthy, smart people. Her daughter is now interested in fighting aging, a remarkable thing at age 8.

Overall, my calls were extremely positive. I've done a lot of "cold calling" in my life time, and I was amazed at how friendly, positive, and willing to help M Prize donors were. Even donors with no connection whatsoever to any kind of community around extending healthy lifespans were willing to talk with me at length about their perspectives on the prize, life, health, and how supporting the M Prize fits into their life philosophy.

I found speaking with M Prize donors downright inspirational... they're a group of people who are very engaged with life, and who want to keep living life to its fullest for many years to come. The only negative things that donors said to me revolved around the question of "Why isn't everyone supporting this?" Frustration with the idea that age-related disease and disability are inevitable came up frequently. I was surprised by how many people volunteered the information that their spouse, parents, and co-workers are not supportive of their M Prize or other extension of healthy lifespan related activities. It made me think again of how lucky I am that my closest friends and family are all supportive.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that M Prize donors are overwhelmingly positive people. Not only are they living full and engaged lives now, they imagine a future in which the possibilities both for themselves and for humanity are ever expanding. For many, their scientific or engineering background makes them rationally convinced that ending age-related disease and disability is possible, and their sense of personal responsibility obligates them to take that knowledge and do something about it. In a world where many people see narrowing possibilities and approach the future with fear, it's uplifting to talk with people who believe that the future will be so interesting, they want to be around to see it.

People who are new to the M Prize and the concept of extending life and health sometimes assume that there is a selfishness to wanting to live longer. They imagine individuals wanting to preserve their own physical lives at all costs, and perhaps taking from others to do so. What I have found from talking with M Prize donors is quite the opposite: this is a community of people who believe that by acting as a community we can bring about change. Surely the effort of putting together each of our $85/month is a testament to this belief: we make a financial sacrifice that in itself wouldn't buy much in the way of scientific research, but when combined with donations large and small from people all over the world, it will, in the words of MR, form
"the most effective vehicle for funding genuine anti-aging research - research that could drastically delay, or even ultimately eliminate, the slow, but gradually accelerating downward spiral of physical and mental deterioration with the passing of the years. "

Join us. You'll be in good company.

Longing For Taco Bell

2005-02-28T21:06:00.000-08:00

Last night, MR and I had a long talk about Taco Bell. Taco Bell bean burritos and seven layer burritos were one of my favorite things pre-CR. Now I still long for them, and could eat them of course as there are no forbidden foods on CR, it's only a matter of how many calories you wish to use. So last night MR looked at the Taco Bell nutrition info he had downloaded prior to leaving for Charleston, and we found two things that are low-cal, high protein: Chicken gordidita, Fiesta style, and steak something or other, fiesta style.

I was all excited about finding these things in the food court today at Union Station in DC, where I was for a meeting. And there was no Taco Bell.

Imagine my sadness. There I am, all ready to eat Taco Bell for the first time in months. With the blessing of MR. With caloric content memorized, and protein grams too! And no Taco Bell.

Well, by this time, as you can imagine, I wanted a burrito. I hadn't had breakfast (much to the shock and horror of MR whom I spoke to while drinking coffee -- at least I was letting my strontium dissolve!) so I was hungry! It was about ten am, I had been up since four. So I got a low carb tortilla with a chicken burrito. Chicken, pinto beans, cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion. Not terrible. Put lots of good salsa on it.

Got home in the middle of a snowstorm... it's still coming down out there. DC got hit pretty bad from what I hear, it was definitely coming down when I left. I ate for dinner two cups of cottage cheese and a bowl of broccoli, carrots and cauliflower with tomatoes. Needed to get a little calcium and some good veggies.

Not a perfect CR day, but not bad for on the road and in a snow storm. Eggwhites tomorrow!

I Am Zoning My Breakfast After All!

2005-02-27T11:31:00.000-08:00

Just figured out this morning that I have been Zoning my breakfast, but I've been forgetting about because I've been drinking 50 cals of cranberry grape juice upon rising with my creatine. MR gave me creatine to take first thing in the morning with something that has sugar in it... apparently that helps with absorption. I also take my Strontium Support bone building stuff... gave you the link on that a few weeks ago. I have to let all that dissolve for an hour before I eat breakfast, so I guess that's not exactly Zoned, but MR said it's okay, so I'm allowed.

I forgot to count my grape juice when I blogged yesterday, but I also failed to eat my entire vegetable soup and had to tupperware it up, so the calories come out about the same. My mom and I sat down to dinner, which was chicken that she had roasted covered with mangos, grapes, and pineapple (I didn't actually eat the fruits because I had already counted up my calories and done my nutrition) plus a big salad of kale (for me -- mom dislikes raw kale) arugula, and bell pepper. Then we had a big bowl of vegetable soup on the side! We discussed how sometimes the hardest thing about CR is figuring out how to eat all the food!

Last night I took some melatonin, which MR had suggested might help me sleep. It did, until 2:30 am when the people next door apparently invited a herd of elephants over to their apartment (which shares a wall with mine). The elephants ran back and forth across the floor and rattled the closet doors. Then a toddler sounding creature started to scream! Then a car alarm went off outside! GRRRR! And I was doing so well. I took another melatonin which MR says not to do cause it's going to confuse my circadian rhythms. I finally went back to sleep, until 4 am when Kieffer rattled my door to come feed him. He's used to breakfast at about four, so I feed him even if I go back to bed. I went back to bed for a little while, as I had, as usual, been up for a lot of the night. Sigh.

Back to work... writing up results to the MMP donor survey so far.

Who You Calling Nutritionally Marginal?

2005-02-26T20:50:00.000-08:00

Last night on the phone, MR was expressing concern re: how I'm eating so high protein on so few calories that I might be missing some important nutrients. "You're already nutritionally marginal," he said, "And not because you're eating badly, but because there just aren't that many calories there."

Well, I took that as a challenge. Check out today:

991 calories. P:F:C = 42:28:29 107 g protein.

Breakfast:
62.5 cals eggwhites
20 cals flax oil
10 cals salsa
5 cals coffee

Lunch:
140 g skinless breast of chicken (baked in chardonnay, drained, topped with garlic powder and pepper)
salad of 100 g kale, 100 g romaine, arugula (not much, and it's very low calorie) 20 cals flax oil, 20 cals red pepper fat free salad dressing, red wine vinegar

Afternoon snack:
cafe au lait with skim (80 cals)

Dinner:
140 g chicken (free range organic again)
salad of 100 g kale and some arugula, with 119 cals olive oil (look at me, eating my oil like I'm supposed to!), 100 g bell pepper, red wine vinegar

interesting new drink, modeled on Mary's vodka and lime drink without the vodka:

Gin-less Gin and Tonic:
Diet tonic water (no calories) with juice of lime (5 cals) served cold over ice.

Over 100% of the RDA on everything, except:
85% calcium
75% copper
82% iron
93% thiamine
66% selenium
52% zinc

If I weren't out of brewers yeast, and were to replace some chicken with brewers yeast, you would get: 100% of everything, except
91% calcium
82% B12
80% zinc

VLC is picking up some brewers yeast for me to solve this problem.

Most of the RDA's are way, way over 100%, especially C and A which are about 700 - 800%.

So who you calling nutritionally marginal, eh?

At least this little incident inspired me to load my DWIDP onto my new computer. I dare any of you out there who think you are healthy eaters to turn in what you really ate today to me and I'll crunch it on my DWIDP (that's nutritional software, Dr. Walford's Interactive Diet Planner, available at www.walford.com) We'll see who is nutritionally marginal. I get great nutrition on few calories cause guess what -- I don't eat junk!

Well, every once in awhile I do, because I still believe in having a nice treat at a good restaurant from time to time. But my basic everyday is pretty darned healthy.

And I'm taking my supplements at all the right time, which is easier now that I've posted my list, carefully constructed by MR, on my fridge held up by a magnet of the Calgary skyline that I picked up in the airport.

MR also suggested that I find some sweet potato leaves and amarynth (sp?) greens, as they are very nutrient dense veggies. He is the king of interesting vegetables. These lime leaf things he has are just delicious. Wow, I miss MR food.

Hi MR's mom! I think it's great that MR is commenting on my mom's blog and MR's mom is commenting on my blog.

Today I decided that I absolutely had to get out of my house, as I had been chained to my computer for so long that I was starting to think that we are one being. So I went to walk around the King of Prussia Mall. The spring fashions are uninspiring, but it was nice to be out and about.

Now back to work.

Mommy Blog! and a dinner party recipe plan

2005-02-25T21:47:00.000-08:00

My mommy has a blog! You can check it out at www.infoethicist.blogspot.com. Isn't that cute???

I'm so glad that my mom is writing her own blog. She's a great writer, thinker, and philosopher. She also has a really adoreable Southern accent.

Here's a recipe I thought of recently:

I used to make a stuffed pepper dish made with goat cheese. Yum! Here's a CR friendly version:

Take green peppers. Cut their little heads off and reserve. Mix fat free cottage cheese with chopped fresh basil or dried basil, garlic powder, and half-salt (yes, MR, I am using half-salt -- are you happy now?) and pepper. Chop several plum tomatoes, and some fresh basil. Stuff the peppers with lots of the cottage cheese mix plus fresh basil and tomatoes. Drizzle inside: tarragon vinegar, some chardonnay. Put heads back on peppers, place carefully, standing, into a baking dish. Fill the bottom of the baking dish with chardonnay. Bake at 350 for 45 mins, or until the peppers are slightly wrinkly but not limp. Serve hot.

This should be good. On the side, I think I would steam some zucchini and yellow squash and drizzle with very good olive oil, fresh squeezed lemon juice, and fresh pepper.

If you're doing a very fancy dinner, serve with a clear seafood soup as a first course. Try this:

Make a broth out of a couple of tomatoes, processed in the food processor until liquid. You may use canned tomatoes if you prefer. Add a bunch of cooked shrimp, tails removed. Drop in some garlic powder and a few drips of tabasco or whatever Louisiana hot sauce you like. Want more seafood? Find some fresh crab meat, put it in. Simmer, stir. Throw in a bit of fresh dill if you like that.

Dessert? You must be throwing a fancy dinner party. I think that MR's mom's hazelnut crust yogurt pie would be excellent to cool off this very hot meal. I'll ask her for the recipe.

There's your Saturday night dinner, already planned for you. Enjoy!

Chicken. Weird.

2005-02-25T21:35:00.000-08:00

I've really been in a quandry as of late re: my protein sources, and I've been craving protein in a big way. Today I thought it would be a good idea to check out some actual meat -- free range, organic, no antibiotics, of course. So I picked up some chicken breasts at the store this morning (I have a great grocery store, filled with lots of organic products) and baked them in a baking pan covered by chardonnay and topped with garlic powder and fresh ground pepper. Baked for an hour. They turned out very juicy and delicious... and my cat thought so as well. Kieffer practically jumped into my lap as I ate. He thinks that's cute.

I hadn't cooked chicken since 1995. All those years as a vegetarian. I feel weird about eating meat, and definitely prefer to eat free range organic. Not sure I'll eat it often, but I'm learning that the more protein I get, the better I feel, and at my low calorie level, beans just aren't an economical protein source. Woman can not live by eggwhites alone.

Breakfast was eggwhites: 125 + flax oil: 40 + salsa:10 = 175

Lunch: 140 g chicken breast: 231 + 100 g arugula: 10ish + flax oil: 40 + olive oil: 40 + salsa: 20 = 341

Mid-morning snack: misto (cafe au lait) 100 with skim milk

Afternoon snack: misto (cafe au lait) 100 with skim

Dinner: 140 g chicken breast: 231 + salad of 100 g kale: 50 + 100 g arugula: 10 ish + 100 g romaine: 17 + olive oil: 80 + salsa: 20

Glass of cabernet: 100

Calcium chewy: 20

1164

Not terrible. Very, very high protein. Perhaps too high. I am craving protein, and I am not sure why.

Festival of Eggplant

2005-02-25T09:47:00.000-08:00

Not sure on the totals from yesterday, since I went out and I am learning that almost no one can correctly estimate their calories when they go out, unless they bring a scale with them (except I think Mary can!) For dinner, my mom the computer specialist came over to fix some stuff with my various M Prize files, and this time she brought the dinner fixins: a bag of veggies (broccoli, cauliflower, carrots), a red pepper, and a giant eggplant. We stirred them all up in the wok and added tomato sauce. Each had a glass of her favorite Riesling.

It occurs to me that this meal was rather a disaster Zone-wise, though fairly low calorie. Basically no protein and no fat. I was barely hungry, as I'd eaten a bit, protein filled lunch, so I guess I just wasn't thinking. Very healthy veggies, though. Will get more protein and fat today, I promise!

I Don't Like Cake Mix Either

2005-02-24T21:49:00.000-08:00

I guess there's someone who doesn't like Essential Mix.

I just fed my mom some. It didn't go over so well. Perhaps AOR will come out with a good multi in pill form?

Oh well... you can't please everybody.

I still love my cake mix. And now we will have our calcium chewy. Yum!

The most important thing about a calcium supplement is "that you take it."

Eggplant "Lasagna"

2005-02-24T21:02:00.000-08:00

Hi bloggiefriends...

Sorry for the delay, lots of M Prize goings-on, very busy!

Yesterday came in at an excellent 1125, if I added correctly (I know, I simply must download DWIDP onto my new computer!!!)

For dinner I made a variation of MR's breakfast salad: 50 g kale, 100 g romaine, 50 g arugula, 1 teaspoon flax oil, 1 teaspoon olive oil, 25 cals of red pepper dressing plus 10 cals of salsa verde. Delicious!

Then I made eggplant "lasagna." Lately, I've been into the pasta-less lasagna. Since I learned how to make fake ricotta out of cottage cheese mixed with garlic powder, basil and oregano, I've been going crazy with the baking pan full of lasagna-esque items. Here's last night's recipe:

400 g eggplant: 96
2 cups cottage cheese (light and lively brand, lowfat) 320
tomato sauce 360
cooking red wine 40
200 g red peppers 54

Slice the eggplant thin and layer as though it were pasta. Cover with layers of cottage cheese mix and red peppers. If you want to be really fancy, roast the red peppers beforehand. Cover each layer with tomato sauce (tomato sauce mixed with cooking red, garlic and oregano).

If you wanted to Zone this recipe, you could add oil or perhaps part skim mozerella?

I totaled up my half of the lasagna (made a pan and divided it into two pieces, one for me, and one for VLC) as 313, and my half of the salad as 122. Add a glass of red wine, and you've got a great meal!

Today was okay -- made my mom eggwhites for breakfast. She came over to help me put subcutaneous fluids into my cat who had kidney disease, and she revealed that all she had eaten that morning was apples with a tablespoon of peanut butter. So I made her 135 cals of eggwhites with some salsa verde. I ate eggwhites with flax oil.

For lunch, I met a friend and ate a greens salad with roasted pears, pecans, and grilled chicken. Balsamic vinegar on the side.

More philosophy soon... sorry for the food-only content, but have been super busy as of late!

2005-02-23T13:15:00.000-08:00

April

1066

2005-02-22T23:09:00.000-08:00

The year the Normans invaded England, and my calorie intake for the day.

At least, that's what I am fairly sure it was.

Let's see:

When I got back from running errands (I'm getting to be good friends with the people at Kinko's where I send and receive faxes!) I was at 560.

Then I ate:

30 free range organic chicken broth
150 bag of broccoli, carrots and cauliflower (in the broth)
116 brewers yeast (also in the soup)
100 glass of red wine
110 green apple

Somebody else do the math, but that sounds right to me.

Ugh... I should have had fat at dinner. I am still in the bad habit of feeling like I'm "done for the day" with fat if I've had my flax oil. Must re-capture the magic of those Zone-like ratios popping up on my DWIDP.

I miss the megamuffin already. At least I have kale to keep me company.

This Is A Bring Your Own Vinegar Establishment

2005-02-22T18:02:00.000-08:00

You remember a few months ago when I blogged about showing up at Panera Bread and ordering a salad with just vinegar, only to be told that they don't carry vinegar? You can imagine my outrage.

Well today I met a friend for lunch at Panera, and having decided to avoid this whole problem, I brought a big bottle of red wine vinegar. But the line was huge and my friend had already ordered, so I decided to just skip the whole thing. I had already eaten at home anyway: 1 cup of cottage cheese (160 cals) and 100 g of kale (50) with a teaspoon of flax oil and a teaspoon of olive oil, (total 80) and some of my red pepper dressing (25 for two tablespoons). Breakfast was a cup of eggwhites (125) and a teaspoon of flax oil (40). Wheat bran (negligible number of cals) After hanging out with my friend while she ate lunch (I did pick an onion and a pepperocini off her plate -- yum!) and I picked up a cafe au lait with skim at Starbucks (80).

Fruitgirl asked me the other day if I had given up skinny lattes. I have not, but MR suggested that I replace the latte which is unfiltered coffee (espresso) with a filtered coffee drink, such as a cafe au lait. I actually like the taste of the cafe au lait better, so this is a good trade. I can't remember why he said to drink filtered coffee instead of unfiltered, but if he says it, that's good enough for me.

Yea S! I'll pressure MR to get that megamuffin recipe up online, and I'll post it to the blog once he does. I'm also thinking of asking Sherm, The Great Muffin Man Himself, what I can do to add more protein to the mix. I think both S and I are twins... we're the same age, and we seem to have the same calorie experiences. I too may just stick with a consistent 1150 -- after last night's brownie event, I'm scared of going too low for fear of setting off too much hunger. High protein, high nutrients, and eating three times a day seems to win the race for me.

Sigh... it was so easy to eat so well at the All Inclusive CR Spa and Resort.

I really need to get my DWIDP onto this computer. It's on the list of things to do.

Note that I Zoned lunch, and had fat with breakfast. Pet me on the head!

Now back to work.

Someone Actually Got It! I think.

2005-02-22T14:22:00.000-08:00

Last Friday night, I went to dinner with some friends, two of whom I know well, the other three of whom I've only met a few times. Of course the subject of my new job came up, and as always, someone said, "I wouldn't want to live that long."

You'll be pleased to know that I refrained from saying, "Then please die now and save us all the irritation."

However, I did engage the person on her statement. "Why wouldn't you want to live that long?" I asked.

I expected to hear the typical, "I wouldn't want to be old that long" answer, which requires communicating to people that we're not talking about extending the time you spend in a nursing home, we're talking about extending youth and health, perhaps indefinitely. That usually takes some work (communicating the concept that is) and an entry on trying to describe the difference between changes in lifestyle and the SENS approach has been brewing in my head for weeks and is about to get written. But this person's issue was not the typical, "I don't want to be sick that long."

She answered, "I just don't think I would want to live past our natural lifespan."

Aha! I knew I had an opening to turn that one around.

"But chances are, you've already lived way past your natural lifespan," said I. "First, you didn't die in childhood of infectious diseases because you were immunized against most of them and any you got, you took antibiotics for and got better."

"Second, you're in your early thirties. Therefore, it's extremely unlikely that at any point in human history before the last fifty years or so you would have survived outside of a convent without getting pregnant and probably having multiple babies. Due to medical advances, you can both prevent pregnancy and most likely avoid dying in childbirth, or due to complications of having a baby every year."

So you've already far outlived your "natural" lifespan... if by natural you mean what you could live without technological advances that have prolonged your lifespan.

Why were those medical advances okay, but it becomes "not okay" to live beyond, say, 90?

Mary's Right

2005-02-21T23:13:00.001-08:00

I should be Zoning at home.

I am a little scared to do so at breakfast, because Tall MR and I observed that any carbs at all in my breakfast seem to set off an anxiety spike.

Dinner actually has 16 g protein in the brewers' yeast, and 2 in the chicken broth. So that's 18 total g protein -- not all that low. What dinner needs is fat, and now that I am bingeing on a Sherm's bingeing brownie (or is it spelled 'binging?') I am probably getting some fat.

Was just whining to MR on the phone. Tall MR, that is. Took a break from my M Prize calls to tell MR that I met an M Prize donor in Calgary. Nice fellow. Doesn't do CR though. So I was whining to Tall MR... something to the effect of, "Why do I have to remember when to take my supplements? Why don't you just appear and feed them to me?"

The princess strikes again.

The rest of my CR day wasn't bad -- ate a brewers yeast and veggie soup, for a total of 216. Then a glass of red wine.

Of course, once the Sherm's binging brownie for 200 was consumed, all bets were off.

There's a reason why them call them "binging brownies" you know.

Wow, they are so good.

Sherm -- you are an angel and a devil in one! You create and destroy -- there are so many nutrients, yet for us tiny girls, so many calories! And soooo delicious! Angel of temptation, packed with nuts, endive, cranberries, guava seeds! So alluring... yet so dangerous.

The brownie is a delight. But the megamuffin. I worship the megamuffin. If I had to choose between MR and the megamuffins, I would choose MR. But if I had to chose between most anyone else and the megamuffins, I would pick the megamuffins.

MR packed me off with some megamuffins to share with my mom and VLC. He also gave an autographed container of Essential Mix to VLC, which she was very excited about.

Oh, the megamuffin. Ordering sucralose so I can make them at home.

So today's calories:

825 + 200 + 216 + 84 + 20 (calcium supplement) = 1335

YIKES!

In my defense, I have been avoiding my giant restaurant eating extravaganzas. And I tend to fluctuate a lot in weight and hunger depending on where I am in the month. This is one of the hungrier times.

But still. 1335. At least it was all super healthy food. Cottage cheese, eggwhites, salads, black beans, tomatoes, Sherm baked goods, brewers yeast, etc.

For a normal person, this would be an insanely good day!

Not going to worry about it -- may stick to 1000 tomorrow though.

Philosophy later... no doubt eating the brownie, however nutritious and sweetened with sucralose, so late at night will trigger an insomnia attack. Then I'll be up and writing. Spend last night's insomnia writing to my M Prize brothers. Tonight you bloggiefriends will get the text.

Now I have to return to work...

I Love Microsoft Access

2005-02-21T17:27:00.000-08:00

And what does that have to do with CR? Nothing.

Except that The Brother from Denmark, who converted a mass of data into a beautiful Access database for me that I am now happily updating, is thinking of converting to CR, and I hope he does, because the Promised Land of the Biotech Rapture will be so much more fun if he makes it there with us! Aubrey de Grey may not believe that CR will work, but I'm not taking any chances!

So here's my CR day so far:

upon rising:

crangrape juice: 50 calories (for creatine -- I think)

breakfast (1 hour later)
125 eggwhite scramble
40 cals flax oil (battle with freezer that wants to kill said flax oil)
80 cals cottage cheese

mid-morning snack
160 cals cottage cheese

lunch:
romaine salad with flax oil and red pepper dressing: 75
100 g green pepper 20
black bean and tomato soup with jalepenos: 325

855 already today... was hungry this morning. Lots of calcium and protein!

Tonight I'm planning to have my nice brewers yeast and broth soup with broccoli, cauliflower and carrots. I've missed that favorite, simple, easy feast. It's so soothing for a cold winter's night of calling M Prize donors.

Hey S!

2005-02-21T00:17:00.000-08:00

I just asked MR to post his new megamuffin recipe. It's been modified since the last Sherm version.

They are soooooooo good!

And you should try Sherm's binging brownies!

Almost Perfect CR Day

2005-02-20T23:43:00.000-08:00

Pre-breakfast (upon rising)
30 ml crangrape to take with creatine and strontium: 30

Breakfast:

1 cup eggwhites, scrambled: 125
1 teaspoon flax oil, on a leaf of kale: 48
wheat bran: ???

Lunch:

1 cup cottage cheese: 160
100 g kale, 100 g romaine lettuce: 60
1 teaspoon flax oil, 1 teaspoon olive oil: 80

Afternoon snack:

Sherm's megamuffin: 200
grocery store sample of small piece of cheese: 50

Dinner:

200 g scallops: 212
100 g broccoli: 28
100 g tomato: 21
cooking wine: 20
large glass of red wine: 120
calcium chewy: 20

Total: 1073

That's if I added right.

Tons of calcium and protein. That's 46 g protein in scallops alone. 24 in the cottage cheese, 29 in the eggwhites, 16 in the megamuffin. No wonder I feel so darned good. I'm swimming in protein.

MR points out that I should lay off the dead sources of protein for awhile, so I'll go back to eggwhites, brewers yeast, etc. for a bit. Am madly loving that breakfast salad... my mom is not so sure about raw kale, but I think it's delicious and so satisfying. That's a serious veggie.

Flax oil continues to rock my world... who knew! This Omega 3 thing is for real.

I've decided to try to hit 1100 consistently, every day, so as to avoid the anxiety spikes that seem to accompany the larger meals. We'll see if this works. 1000 tends to leave me hungry after ten or so days, but I'm hoping that at just around 1100 on a regular basis, especially with high protein and good Omega 3/6 balance, I'll be happy and satisfied.

More soon.

Breakfast Salad for Dinner, or "Mommy, why is the computer talking?"

2005-02-20T09:12:00.000-08:00

Sometimes in the midst of love letters to MR, rambling thoughts about Aubrey de Grey and the cure for aging, and moderately amusing accounts of my attempts to pay for things with Canadian money, what I actually ate gets lost. And I feel bad for that, because this is supposed to be a blog about CR, and there's a large sector of my readership who are here for the eggwhites. So here you go, yesterday:

Breakfast:

100 g turkey, probably about 200 calories, not sure re the categories of turkey on nutritiondata.com (Still haven't loaded DWIDP onto new computer)
40 calories of flax oil
wheat bran (MR doesn't know how many calories that has... we need to find out, but it's all fiber)

breakfast total: 250 ish

Lunch:

1 cup cottage cheese, lowfat: 160
1 box frozen okra: 90
1 pint grape tomatoes: 60
70 calories worth of Laughing Cow garlic and herb cheese

lunch total: 380

Dinner:

MR's breakfast salad with April's variations.
Now here's where it gets confusing. My mom came over to fix the computer so that I could chat with my M Prize brothers and anyone who has questions about the Prize via Skype. She was also trying to fix some other software problems I was having (Mom is my resident computer geek.) I cooked dinner while she fixed things, but it was pretty crazy with talking to my Three Hundred brothers on the computer and me trying to explain to my cat why it was that the computer was talking, so I didn't weigh the greens. Yes, I made MR's breakfast salad and didn't weigh it. That's rather silly, but he forgot to pack my breakfast last Tuesday so there.

Salad contained:
Chopped kale, romaine, arugula, one green pepper, and sliced cherry tomatoes. Flax oil mixed with olive oil, and it's supposed to have balsamic vinegar which I realized I was out of, so I put some Williams Sonoma chili lime sauce on it instead. Topped both salads with steamed shrimp for protein. Delicious, easy, and very pretty meal.

Mom and I polished off some Riesling that she'd had lying around and ate our 20 calorie calcium supplements. Yikes, I forgot to take my Essential Mix! And MR even autographed it for me!

All in all, pretty good day. Not sure on the totals, but looks pretty good, and the protein was excellent. Getting all my good Omega 3's now in flax oil. My mom tried to fix the problem with the freezer so my flax oil won't be frozen solid all the time... we'll see if it worked.

Woke up at four, feeling great. Checked my email (yes, I'm still infatuated with my cable modem) and took my morning supplements: creatine washed down with cranberry grape juice (MR says you have to do this because it has to have something sugary to activate it. And if MR says to eat something sugary, who am I to argue? I only drink 30 mls though, just enough to make the creatine work.) and strontium. That's for bones. MR seems to feed me a lot of supplements that are all about bone health, including one that sounds like metronome and always makes me think I'm going to start ticking. It's tiny and yellow and cute. Yes, I identify my supplements by their relative cuteness. And you were expecting what exactly? Some sort of complex analysis? If you want that, go to

http://www.aor.ca/mags/Strontium_Winter_03.pdf.

There's an underscore between Strontium, Winter, and 03, if that doesn't show up. I read that article while we were waiting for Aubrey's plane... and yes, it's a little weird to read MR's articles while he's sitting right next to me. But in the grand scale of weird things that have happened in my fairy tale life as of late, that's pretty un-weird.

Today will be another quiet day of working on M Prize stuff. Dr. J's book, _Citizen Cyborg_ got here while I was in Canada. (Remember Dr. J of http://www.changesurfer.com?) I am so excited about reading it! The question must be asked: Will my cat eat _Citizen Cyborg_? She's eaten the complete works of MR, large portions of A DNJ d G, and a few bites of Kurzweil's _Fantastic Voyage_ too. Can Hughes escape the kitty claws, the loud chewing that wakes me in the middle of the night? Tune in next time to find out.

It's just after six now, and I've taken my supplements, allowed an hour for the strontium to do whatever it is it does (You're supposed to wait an hour before eating after you take it. Don't ask me why.) Now it's time for eggwhites...

Happy now?

Take Me To the Water When My Well Runs Dry

2005-02-20T03:38:00.000-08:00

Today I found a tape that I made back in 2000 entitled "The Zamsky Effect." It was made in 2000 but referred to 1994 and the events the preceeded my entry into computer work at Yale... a subtopic that could be called "Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans." Funny that I should find it now.

The title of this post is taken from Bonnie Rait's "Shake A Little." Great song, go listen to it if you don't have it. I've got it on "Road Tested," a concert album, two tapes in one box. And I thought of it tonight because it so encapsulates my experience of spending time with MR and A DNJ d G.

MR is my intellectual inspiration, my CR guru, and my living proof that CR can get you carded well into your thirties. Aubrey is a walking party, an ongoing celebration of what is fun about being alive. In a cab on the way to the airport, I said to Aubrey, "It's good that you don't do CR, because we have to communicate to people that no matter how you've lived, rejuvenation medicine can save you." Aubrey is redemption walking... being with him makes you believe that hope is more than a waste of time. It's hard to describe what it is about Aubrey that makes you believe, but it's real, and I felt it the first time I clicked on www.gen.cam.ac.uk/sens, and so much more so when I met him in person. The calculation is simple: Are you having fun now? If yes, then why would you want to stop having fun at some point in the future? Of course you wouldn't! So join me and make the party go on indefinitely!

MR changed my life the moment I ran across him on the List... I changed my diet, I lost about a third of my body weight, I became a different person... a smaller, healthier, happier person. I started to dream of a world in which we didn't take disability and death for granted. As he kissed me goodbye yesterday in the airport, I said, "There's only one goodbye that really matters, and neither of us plan to have that anytime soon." We both plan to use CR as a bridge to the radical life-extending biomedicine of which Aubrey de Grey is the prophet.

Aubrey doesn't do CR, and he doesn't think it will work, or at least not much. He says he'd do CR if someone else would cook, but the fact is, he'll eat anything that's put in front of him, so that doesn't mean much. Being with Aubrey is just plain fun... hard to explain, but if you remember what it felt like to be in college hanging out with your friends, and then fast-forward and put the faces of your crazy college friends onto the Prophet of Immortality, you've got A DNJ d G. MR's exactness is a thing of beauty, it thrills me to watch him plan his life so carefully that nothing gets in his way. I love his routines and carefulness, and I miss both him and his food now that I'm home. As we all know, I'm not nearly as exacting as MR, though I'd like to be. Like me, Aubrey is uninterested in jet lag, in insomnia, in lack of food, in whatever. Being with MR is like an all inclusive spa and resort... being with Aubrey is like being back in school. Both of them are tons of fun. Both of them remind me that there's a reason to keep being alive. And watching them work together, arguing about things I don't understand and don't need to understand... well, bloggiefriends, you know how much I must love that. It's magic, and my life has turned into a fairytale.

Why give this up? If you're having a good time now, why would you want to stop? Why get old and sick one minute before you have to?

Some more quotes from songs on "The Zamsky Effect."

There's no one to hear
You might as well scream
They never woke up
From the American Dream
And they don't understand
What they don't see
When they look through you and they look past me
You and I dancing slow
We've got nowhere to go
Melissa Etheridge "Nowhere to Go"

For you I would crawl
Through the darkest dungeon
Climb a castle wall
If you're my Rapunzel
Let your hair down...
Dave Matthews, "Rapunzel"

This Is His and Hers Celery

2005-02-19T20:37:00.000-08:00

Or: Everything I Ever Needed to Know About CR I Learned From MR.

Now don't whine that this entire blog is becoming one long love letter to MR. You too learned almost everything you know about CR from him, and if you've been watching the blog with a careful eye from Day 1, you'll notice that nothing has really changed.

So I want to share with you some things I learned about CR from spending 11 magical days with the most serious of hard core CR practitioners. And some funny stories.

You're probably wondering, "Do they really sit around talking about CR?" The answer is yes, we do. We sit at the kitchen table eating our perfectly balanced, calorie counted meals and talking about macronutrient ratios. Yeah, we really do. And we really, really like it. I mean, who else is going to put up with us?

So I learned a ton from just being with MR. And from having unlimited questions to put to my CR guru. You are so jealous, aren't you? If you donate, say, $50 to the M Prize, I'll ask MR your CR question. How's that for a genie in a bottle? If you join the Three Hundred, I'll ask him as many questions as you want.

Here are some things I learned:

a) This whole Zone thing is for real. The difference in my mood when I Zone my meals (or when MR does it for me) is amazing!

b) Protein is a massive anxiety fighter for me. Protein shots at breakfast, in the form of eggwhites, and I'm set for the day. Hey RK -- what do you think about _The Anti-Anxiety Diet_ by RK and AS? Can we get a grant for that?

c) Here's how you get your fiber: wheat bran. Soak it overnight, on the stove, or anywhere in my house (as in somewhere warm) Then drain off the liquid and eat.

d) Flax oil rocks my world. RK is right about those Omega 3's -- I've never felt better, and it's not *just* being in love.

e) Weighing everything really is eaiser.

Yeah, it really is. It was hard at first. But as I got used to it, I realized that the entire mental acrobatics routine of guessing and rounding and estimating was gone. It's just plain easier to know what it is you're eating. So what if people think it's weird that you weigh all your food? You're in good company! After about three days it just clicked in my head and it was easy... and even fun! Me yelling "Yea!" when I got exactly 100 grams of tomatoes on the scale, MR asking what I was so happy about as he wrote something brilliant for Aubrey at the computer in the living room. Whether it's recruiting a new Three Hundred member or weighing out vegetables, I'm nothing if not enthusiastic.

I got a ton of supplements, most of them AOR, and I'm learning how to give myself the pills. I'd have to say, it was easier when MR would just feed me my supplements at the appropriate hour. Sorta like a zoo keeper feeding the lions. But I am a smart girl and can certainly learn to take my supplements. I brought back a tin of Essential Mix for VLC, autographed with an inscription from the creator himself, and she was thrilled. I also gave her and my mom megamuffins... we worship the megamuffin. We also worship Christine, who made them for her newly CR'd husband Aaron for Valentine's Day. Now all you CR boys out there who don't have a CR spouse, you know you are so jealous of Aaron now. Not only is his wife beautiful and smart and articulate and gets it re: curing aging, she bakes him megamuffins! I really hope that MR and I can go back to Edmonton to hang with Aaron, Christine and Kevin next time I'm in Canada.

Funny moments with MR:

When we were laying out our veggies for chopping, and he said to me, "Now this is his and hers celery."

When we were waiting for the bus at the food Co-op and a random homeless man walked up to us, looked at the cottage cheese MR was holding, and said, "Don't eat that, it's bad for you." Yes, I watched a random homeless man argue with MR about nutrition. I thought to myself, "I would pay admission to see this," and sure enough, I gave the guy two dollar. Well, I thought it was a quarter... I don't quite get the whole Canadian money thing yet. Still, worth it.

Seconds later, we got on the bus and the bus drive glanced at the cottage cheese and free range eggs in MR's hands and said, "That's a good breakfast."

That'll teach you to take nutrition advice from strangers.

Kefir

2005-02-19T17:01:00.000-08:00

My cat's name is Kieffer.

The love of my life drinks a whey powder and kefir drink for breakfast.

This has led to some interesting confusion.

For example, tonight after we had finished our MR salad with shrimp, my mother and I were discussing MR's breakfast. My cat was convinced we were talking about him.

Now my mom needs the computer... she's going to fix my skype button.

More soon.

Re-Entry Shock

2005-02-19T14:30:00.000-08:00

Oh bloggiefriends, I owe you so much text, and I'm sorry I've been such a bad bloggergirl lately.

Starting a new job, starting a new relationship, and meeting the most brilliant, visionary men on earth has kept me rather busy.

I flew back to Philly on Thursday, and flying Calgary to Philly is an all day event. MR packed me a delicious lunch: one of his stews and a the leftovers of my tomato and artichoke heart salad. He forgot, however, to pack my hazelnuts, so I ended up lowfat. I think it's funny how the two things he's forgotten to pack me so far have been a) breakfast b) fat source. Bloggiefriends who have not just crawled out from under a breakfast-skipping high carb darkness rock should know why this is amusing to me.

I ended up being pretty hungry in the airport, so I ate a salad with a glass of pinot noir. I got carded to order the pinot noir! CR working? MR later figured out that he had cheated me of hazelnuts, and that's no doubt why I was hungry.

Yesterday went okay... had a salad of arugula, romaine, tomatoes, green peppers, cucumbers and grilled chicken at lunch. For dinner I went out with a bunch of my friends at a great Italian place in Center City Philly. I split eggplant rolls that had asparagus, eggplant, goat cheese, and basil with the rest of the table, and then I ordered the scallop appetizer as my entree -- three sea scallops drizzled with balsamic vinegar. It would have been a great CR dinner except that I ate a few bites of the mocha creme brulee (hello Roderick) and the canollis. Between that and a couple of glasses of wine, I was way over-carbed, and sure enough, I felt crappy this morning. Gotta get back to the Zone perfect high protein low calorie nutrient dense MR inspired lifestyle that makes me so happy.

This morning I ate some free range organic turkey that I found in my fridge (I'm fairly sure my mom left it there) for breakfast, along with a tiny spoonful of flax oil. Just shot the flax oil... didn't bother putting it on anything.

Tonight my mom is coming over for dinner and to make Skype, this thing that will allow me to receive calls on my computer, to work. I'm making MR's breakfast salad for dinner, with some shrimp in the middle for protein. Flax and olive oil with balsamic vinegar and salsa for dressing. Last night MR made one of my shrimp recipes at his house... if we just eat each others' recipes when we're apart, it will be like we're together all the time, right?

The Greater Alberta Life Extensionists' Intentional Community

2005-02-16T18:11:00.000-08:00

Or, "Philadelphia is just a suburb of Edmonton!"

In addition to the excitement of watching a packed house of students and townspeople respond enthusiastically to Aubrey de Grey's message that curing aging is possible, I tremendously enjoyed the experience of hanging out with other people who have somehow removed themselves from the global pro-aging trance. In addition to TNGOE, who was swamped with ferrying Aubrey from one media interview to another, MR and I met up with Aaron, aka The Newest M Prize CR Brother, and his wife, Christine. Aaron just started CR a few weeks ago and is doing very well -- you can check out his blog at www.spaz.ca. We had a CR potluck after the talk, during which we ate Sherm's megamuffins, Sherm's binging brownies, carrots, fruit, a grape tomato and artichoke heart in balsamic vinegar with capers salad that I had made (40 calories/100 grams -- am I being assimilated by the Canadians?). It was tremendous fun to hang with Aaron and Christine. Aaron has been a long term life extensionist and an M Prize volunteer from practically day one. As it turns out, he started reading my blog when the first flurry of bloggiefriend M Prize donations came in (thanks, bloggiefriends!) and decided to do CR! His wife Christine is a dance teacher pursuing a degree in psychology. MR and I worried a little bit over Aaron's protein intake and apologized a couple of times for acting like his mom. It reminds me of my early days when Little MR (that's Mary, at www.crdiary.blogspot.com) would point out problems with my diet and send me on searches for the source of what I was missing. Guess I found what I was missing, eh?

Meanwhile, I can't wait to hang out with Aaron, Christine, and Kevin again. Hopefully we can come up to Edmonton again when I'm visiting MR in Calgary. It's not too terribly far by bus, just about 3.5 hours, and MR and I got some fabulous work done during the ride. It's amazing how much I learn just from chatting with MR. You can imagine how mindblowingly awesome it was to spend two days with both MR and A DNJ d G. And then Kevin showed up, and the other Canadian M Prize brother named Michael... genius overload! I'm going to have to hang out with some stupid people just to achieve a balance after all this!

I'm thinking that the Greater Alberta Life Extensionist Club has some serious potential, as long as no one minds counting Philly as part of Greater Alberta.

On the road is never an easy time for CR folk to eat, but thanks to MR's careful preparation, we were set. Well, except for the fact that he forgot to pack my breakfast. Something funny about that, seeing as the reason why I eat breakfast now is that he's ranted so much on the List about how important it is. Well, he forgot my breakfast so we stopped at a Subway and grabbed the highest protein, lowest carb/calorie thing we could find to stuff into me: a turkey sandwich on an Atkins wrap. 180 cals. Yes, that's right bloggiefriends, I ate some meat. I haven't technically been a vegetarian since I started eating fish, and I'm still profoundly disturbed by factory farming, but I'm thinking that nutritionally it makes a ton of sense for me to occasionally eat meat. However, I plan to only buy free range organic at home. We also had Subway on the bus on the way back, and I was under calories so I had two glasses of pinot noir when we got home, before completely collapsing with exhaustion.

I've been consistently right on 1000 for ten days now, and I'm finally starting to get hungry. As you'll recall, I've been hitting 1000 most days and then on the fifth or so day going out and eating close to 1500 or more, so that I average 1100. Well, after ten days of 1000, it's starting to catch up with me. I think I'll try to keep it up though. I have tons of energy, my mood is great, and the decrease in anxiety when I stay at a consistent low calorie level is so remarkable that I don't want to give it up. MR and I have talked a lot about how I can Zone my meals to take maximum advantage of whatever that's doing for me, and we've also figured out how to throw tons of protein at me early in the day (yea eggwhites) so I have optimal mental focus. It's nice having the CR guru right next to me.

Tonight I'm cooking dinner. I'm making my lasagna with greens, and using a lot of the same measurements as MR uses in his CR friendly Zoned pizzas. I hope he likes it!

By the way, today is the one year anniversary of the day I bought and read Dr. Walford's "The Beyond 120 Year Diet."

I've come a long way, baby.

Shouldn't They Have the Right To Choose?

2005-02-16T10:17:00.000-08:00

That's what Aubrey de Grey said to a standing room only audience in Edmonton, Alberta, when a student at the University of Alberta asked how future societies would deal with the potential problems created by radical life-extending biomedicine. You can find an excellent description of the talk by one of the M Prize brothers (aka TNGOE) at:

http://www.mprize.org/index.php?pagename=newsdetaildisplay&ID=058

De Grey didn't try to deny that longer, healthy lifespans might cause changes in the way people live. Nor did he offer simple answers. Instead, he pointed out that future socities may face challenges as people begin to live much much longer, but that they should have the choice to face those challenges head on and find their own solutions. If we refuse to work toward curing aging, we deny them the choice. Our inaction condemns them to death.

The enthusiasm of the crowd in the packed auditorium at the University of Alberta was overwhelming. Students, faculty, townspeople of all ages listened with rapt attention as de Grey outlined his common sense approach to conquering the greatest killer of all time. By the time questions were raised, it was clear that most in the audience had accepted de Grey's premise that curing aging is possible. That's why the questions revolved mostly on the potential problems that could be created by the success of the project. "What about overpopulation?" "What would people do with their lives?"

When people begin to ask questions about the consequences of curing aging as we know it, it signals to me that they can't refute de Grey's arguments about the *possibility* of curing aging, so they turn to arguing about the *desirability.* It is indeed hard to refute the basic premise that if we could repair the damage caused by being alive, there's no reason to believe that we can't continue being alive indefinitely (or until we get squashed by a truck on the New Jersey Turnpike.)

The problem with arguing about the *desiribility* of curing aging is that it requires one to argue that people have the moral obligation to die. We would never say to a representative of the American Heart Association that curing heart disease is bad because it would cause lots of people to live longer. We would never tell a nurse who works in the neonatal ICU that it would be better for those palm of the hand-sized babies to die instead of growing into healthy, productive adults. So why should we argue that just because someone is 80, or 90, or 100, or 110, or 150, they should make the planet less crowded by going off somewhere to die?

When people say to me, "I wouldn't want to live that long," and I haven't had my coffee yet and am not in a patient mood, I am tempted to say, "Well then could you just die now and save us all the irritation?" Arguing that someone should cease to exist just because they've made one comment that I happen to find annoying is no more absurd than arguing that the same person should relieve the rest of us of their company because they reach an arbitrary birthday. As Aubrey said in his talk at U of Alberta, it's the ultimate form of ageism.

I am extremely encouraged to see a group of enthusiastic young people grasping the logic of curing aging, and I hope that one of the students we met yesterday will go on to do the scientific research to save all of our lives. It's the least they could do, in exchange for the lovely M Prize buttons we gave out for free.

Are You Travelling as a Student?

2005-02-15T13:53:00.000-08:00

So said the ticket taker to MR as he bought our bus tickets to Edmonton for Aubrey's lecture. MR is 34. CR really works. I told you he looks like a college student.

Much to talk about and I have been insanely busy, so sorry I haven't written, bloggiefriends. Had a wonderful time with MR's parents. All four of them were tons of fun, and his brother is cool and works at Starbucks, which means he scored me some coffee! MR's parents remind me a lot of my dad and step-mother. My dad definitely would have approved of the meal MR's mom cooked -- especially the squash. MR brought our food and made us stir fry with eggwhites but I did eat a little bite of the yogurt pie with a hazlenut crust that MR's mom made -- she gave us these adoreable little tiny slices of it to taste! I need to get that recipe... I would love to make it for my dinner guests at home. Thanks for the lovely evening, Mother of MR! Will write a proper thank-you note from home. Surely I have not reached the point where I am writing thank-you notes in the blog?

Busy busy busy with trying to make plans with Aubrey, working on M Prize projects, etc. Made dinner for me and MR last night -- shrimp again in white wine with artichokes, capers, garlic, grape tomatoes. Olive and flax oil stirred in for fat, all over spaghetti squash. I had dinner ready early -- I'm really getting the hang of this -- but it took him awhile to figure out the spaghetti squash.

Last night I picked up A DNJ d G from the airport and he spent the night at MR's house again before we all got up to leave the house at 5 am -- A d G to the airport and us to the bus station. Now I'm in an internet cafe in Edmonton frantically checking the email to make sure I don't miss anything from M Prize world. And of course I had to say hi to bloggiefriends.

Thanks to all my wonderful commenters -- great to know that someone out there has read _Neuromancer_! You're right about the sunglasses -- that might be a bit painful. Did you read the entry in which I remarked that razornails would be helpful for opening those annoying CD packages? I also noticed recently that Razorgirl rhymes with Fundraisergirl. Thoughts? Dani -- you can find a retailer for AOR supplements at www.aor.ca. MR says that you click on the horribly ungrammatical "From Where To Buy" button. He says he tried to correct it but the web designer had left the country or something. Fruitgirl... I must make it out to CA to visit you now that I've read your menu! Without you, I might never have discovered the joys of eggwhites and plain yogurt.

There's this gorgeous guy next to me in the internet cafe... I asked him if he comes here often, but as it turns out he's from Calgary. He's rather thin... I wonder if there's any chance that he's on some sort of freaky diet that might help you stay alive until the dawn of radical life-extending biomedicine?

You've Miraculously Made the Perfect Dinner!

2005-02-12T10:57:00.000-08:00

So said MR to me when we realized that I had somehow made a mistake in calorie adding and therefore was 100 calories under where I thought I would be. I was about to give up on ever fixing the dinner correctly when he came in and saved me from myself.

MR is letting me cook for him some, which is both exciting and a bit frightening for me. As we know, I love to cook, so I'm glad I get to do some of the cooking while I'm here... it would be unbecoming for me to spend all my time doing work while MR slaves away in the kitchen. So last night I decided to make the cauliflower soup that you read about a couple of weeks ago. I neglected to observe that MR doesn't put salt in anything, and that the soup with absolutely no salt tastes a little funny. So I spent a fair amount of time trying to make the soup taste good without salt. In the process, I added a can of tomato sauce and turned it pink, which looked a bit like dog barf, so I experienced a moment of panic (during which I told MR that he was under no circumstance to enter the kitchen until I had fixed the problem) and then I added a bit more tomato paste to try to make it at least cream of tomato colored. I finally got so mad at my inability to make it taste good that I pourded in the onions simmered in red wine that Ihad been planning to use as a sauce for veggies over eggwhites, like I often do at home. That really helped, so I added another glass of wine to the soup (we discovered that 60 cals of wine cooks down to 40 cals in 30 mins). Then I said loudly to MR who was working on the computer in the living room, "I guess you don't want to have a soup that is mostly wine, do you?" He said something about it being Calories, Calories, Calories (meaning for those of you who are not list fanatics that it's not nearly as important what the calories are composed of as the number of them) and I found that rather funny since I've now seen firsthand how much attention he pays to getting exactly the right nutrients and exactly the right Zone ratios, etc.

By this time I was pouring 2 oz of the cooking wine into my brand new M Prize mug (thanks TNGOE!) and saying to myself, "Well, people love Bridget Jones more when she fails than when she succeeds, so if this dinner turns out to be a goopy pink mess, at least it'll make a good blog entry."

Here's what finally ended up in the soup:

-- head of cauliflower, a can of broth, 4 cals of garlic, 1 can tomato sauce, 3 tablespoons tomato paste, dried basil, garlic powder, onions, tons of red wine (measured perfectly but I can't remember how much it was now and the piece of paper I was doing my calculations on is in the kitchen) and no salt. That's not "No Salt," as in a salt substitute. That's no salt whatsoever. It's making me a bit nuts.

We had eggwhites on the side for protein and added oil to the soup for fat, which actually tasted really good, even to a reformed Priestess of the High Carb Darkness. MR said that he liked the soup and didn't find the color alarming. It wasn't nearly as good as the first time I made it, but it was okay. He's cooking tonight, and I'll help chop vegetables so I won't feel like a lazy princess. This cooking with NO SALT thing is very hard for me, and makes me realize how much I rely on cheap tricks like a dash of salt in my own cooking. It's much harder for me to cook without salt than to weigh everything to MR specifications. I'm glad he's okay with cooking with wine, since I would be lost without that staple of my lowfat cooking. Weighing the food really isn't hard to get used to at all, and doesn't take much time now that I've gotten the hang of the scale. It's changing the way I construct meals and recipes to accomodate his different calorie needs (believe it or not, I have much more trouble making *enough* food than keeping calories down) and his Zone stuff, plus some restrictions on ingredients, that's making me work. It's a challenge though and I enjoy it... I'm fairly sure that all this extra brain work is good for me.

For breakfast I had an MR breakfast salad, eggwhites and a little portion of megamuffin. He has me taking all my supplements at the right time, and I'm wondering how I'll manage to do it all on my own when I have to go home. The all-inclusive CR spa and resort makes everything so easy. He could charge a lot to CR list folks for something like 24 hours with MR: food, supplement consultation, and unlimited questions. Fundraising op? Hmmm... I could take care of the social chit chat and even the cooking, if given very specific instructions, and he could just answer technical questions. Everything is a fundraising scheme to me these days...

Today we're just working again, and I'm hoping that Saturday will be a good day to catch M Prize donors on the phone. I had some very productive exchanges with A DNJ d G that I spent much of yesterday doing follow-up research on, and I think we're figuring out some good ways to get him out there in front of people who will be both influential and good donors. Tons to do... still so much of my creative energy going into the fundraising so little left over to do giant philosophical blog entries. However, I'm working on some stuff in my head, and no doubt an insomnia attack will hit soon during which I'll have time to write something long and involved.

In the meanwhile, hi to all my Philly friends out there! And hello to Mother of MR... glad you're liking the blog! Looking forward to meeting you and all the other parents of MR. I guess you'd know, so if you say he's 34 I believe it. He just *looks* like he just turned 22. Do you like olives? I'm thinking of making an olive tapenade that's really yummy and easy to transport, but is only good if you like olives. MR says I can't toast walnuts anymore, so that kinda messes up my pesto recipe. There's always something, isn't there? I might make it anyway, since it's quite good and would probably be about the same with untoasted walnuts. In any case, they're both good Zone fat sources, so all will be happy with that.

More soon, bloggiefriends... time to get to work.

The Life-Extensionist Dinner Party

2005-02-11T00:05:00.000-08:00

What an amazing two days it's been. First, hanging out with Aubrey de Grey is so much fun. He is exactly how you'd think he would be: the kind of guy you can have a beer with. He's tons of fun, has great hair, is simultaneously obviously brilliant and easy to be with. I can easily imagine him hanging out with the Hello Kitty Clique back in Philly. After spending says he'd do CR if someone else would cook for him. Of course, he also said he'd do just about any diet if someone else would cook for him... don't worry, scientists, he hasn't changed his position on CR. But I think he could now put it this way: "I don't believe in CR, but some of my best friends do..."

MR and I picked Aubrey up at the airport on Tuesday afternoon. Whisked him home to beer and a brief re-counting of the events of the last three months. Then I went off to make dinner, which you heard about. It took a long time, much longer than it ever takes me to cook, since I was weighing out MR's food and having trouble making all the puzzle pieces fit. I enjoyed the challenge, though, and dinner was late but they loved it. The next day I sent press release reminders to local media and reminder emails to U Calgary professors about Aubrey's Thursday talk while Aubrey and MR discussed M's work in detail at the kitchen table. Then we all sat down in the living room to talk fundraising. Got some great ideas, asked a bunch of questions. Eventually I had to run out to the store to get more groceries for the dinner party for six we were hosting that night. I called MR from the store to ask if he remembered where to find the basil, and discovered that I interrupted him and Aubrey in the middle of a heated argument on a scientific point that I would no doubt fail to understand. By the time I got home things had cooled off quite a bit, which disappointed me because I think it would be very exciting to watch the two genius boys argue. Perhaps they will be so kind as to provide me with this kind of entertainment when Aubrey returns?

I set about cooking for the giant party, and here's what I made:

shrimp in tons of white wine with garlic, grape tomatoes and artichoke hearts
pumpkin soup: pumpkin, soy milk, garlic, salt, the juice of a lemon or two, curry powder
spinach lasagna: zuchinni and red pepper spliced between layers of spinach with cottage cheese mixed with basil and garlic as the "ricotta" and mozarella in the middle. No pasta.
dessert: apples baked in Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum with cinnamon on top

The dinner went over very well. Aubrey really liked the lasagna, Kevin, who doesn't usually like shrimp, asked for seconds of the shrimp.

Kevin had flown down from Edmonton for the event, and it was great to meet him. He's the Outreach Coordinator for the M Prize, and has been extraordinarily friendly and welcoming and explained a zillion things to me that I didn't understand. I can now say from firsthand experience that he is The Nicest Guy On Earth. From the moment he walked in, he proved over and over again that he has a friendly, cheerful way about him that puts everyone at ease and makes errands like making copies at the university library fun. He also brought his cousin, who had some fascinating things to say and made me happy by asking for seconds of the lasagna!

Another of our M Prize brothers flew in from Vancouver, so we had a full table. Everyone enjoyed the food, and I drank two glasses of pinot noir and then shared quite a bit of beer with Aubrey afterwards. I may be CR girl, but I wasn't going to turn down the opportunity to drink beer with A DNJ d G. The conversation was amazing, and I was struck by how easy it is to hang out with M Prize brothers, as though we've been friends for years. We took a moment to wish that some of our other Three Hundred brothers were there... hello out there, DG, Reason, and the Brother from Denmark! We even vaguely tossed around the concept of starting an intentional community of life extension folks in Alberta, since MR, The Newest CR'd M Prize Brother, TNGOE, and apparently another brother I wasn't aware of are already here. CR would have the majority, and The Nicest Guy on Earth said he'd convert if we'd cook. If you can't argue with 'em, feed 'em!

This morning we fed TNGOE MR's eggwhite and vegetable scramble with Thai chili sauce, and he agreed with me that when you eat MR's food, you feel so stuffed that it's hard to believe it's CR. MR is so good at getting maximum volume out of low calorie, nutrient dense food. His recipes really are masterpieces... oddly enough, he doesn't actually enjoy cooking. A DNJ d G has coffee only for breakfast. I ate kefir with whey powder, and decided I can't stand it anymore. It's the only thing MR makes that I don't like. I fell into his arms limp with relief and gratitude when he told me that he had picked me up some cottage cheese... I need calcium and protein, but at the end of my long journey, I am finally deciding that whey and I must part ways.

I also had a breakfast salad, which is this delicious green monument to yummy vegetables that MR eats basically every morning. Then we all set out for U Calgary, where A DNJ d G did an interview while TNGOE and I found a place to make copies of our M Prize flyers.

The talk went well, about 30 people, mostly academics but some townspeople who had heard about it through the press releases that we sent out to AOR customers, heatlh food stores, etc.

It was exciting to see A DNJ d G do the talk I had read about... I once accidentally printed out the entire power point, so I have half the slides sitting next to my bed. The house one, the "Let's Roll..." all safely hidden from my de Grey eating cat. These academic talks aren't great fundraising ops, but we did get a few small donations, a list of everyone's contact info, and one potential Three Hundred member... more about that when I seal the deal!

Walking around U Calgary with A DNJ d G, MR, and TNGOE was a lot like being in Star Wars. For one thing, everyone is just so darned cool looking. TNGOE looks much younger than he is and is a dark-haired, brown-eyed anti-aging superhero, complete with mirrored sunglasses that he borrowed from MR. A DNJ d G looks like he's going to defeat the forces of evil with one wave of his wizardly magic wand. MR is of course my CR superhero, and just gets more beautiful every day. I think he may be aging in reverse... I'm afraid that I'll find out that he really is 22. I haven't asked for proof of age, and I'm considering doing so.

I assure you, it was a Princess Leia day, or rather a composite of all my sci-fi heroines, all packed into one real day. Princess Leia, Molly, Trinity, the empathy of Deanna Troy without the annoying wimpy girlishness or the catsuit. You get the idea.

MR and I are exhausted now and just finished dinner... he cooked for us, which is an ongoing miracle to me. We had his "Supper Stew" which you may have read about in the archives, along with hazlenuts and our glass of pinot noir. He has the most interesting vegetables... I find myself saying, "What is this veggie?" over and over again.

I have more thoughts about all of this but I'm tired, I need to take out the trash, and we have to go to sleep. I just figured I'd better update you guys since a) my friends are all checking the blog to see if I've dropped off the face of the earth or have just been rendered speechless by the combined amazingness of MR and A DNJ d G b) my own mother communicates with me mostly through my blog c) my significant other's mother is now following his life through my blog.

It's an awesome responsibility, but somebody's got to do it.

Yes, I Cooked Dinner for MR and Aubrey de Grey

2005-02-09T07:51:00.000-08:00

Okay, bloggiefriends, sorry for the silence but I've been buried under preparations for Aubrey's Alberta tour, fundraising, and cooking CR friendly food.

Last night I made dinner! WOW! Here's what I made, and yes, they liked it:

scallops cooked in white wine with cilantro, chili powder, fresh lime juice, red peppers and grape tomatoes

asparagi with flax/olive oil mix drizzled on top and fresh lemon squeezed on that

Breakfast: eggwhites with salsa. I'm reverting to egg-white city.

More soon my friends... must go chase after more 300 members and send out more reminders for tomorrow's A DNJ d G lecture.

I promise I'll tell you the whole story later.

CR Heaven

2005-02-07T20:41:00.000-08:00

Hello, bloggiefriends.

I am in CR heaven. All-Inclusive CR Spa and Resort. Cue Stevie Wonder's "Don't You Worry Bout a Thing." All calorie counts done, all meals perfectly Zoned, my AOR supplements handed to me at exactly the right moment... all I have to do is raise millions of dollars for the M Prize (that's www.mprize.org) and figure out what to cook for dinner for Aubrey de Grey.

Life has never been so good.

Here's what I've been eating:

Yesterday: nothing until I got here but two cups of coffee. I flew for 11 hours, okay! It's really a long way from Philly to Calgary. I didn't feel like eating before I left, didn't want to eat airport food, and would have sooner stuck needles in my hands than eaten the "snack" they had on the plane (salami slices, cheese, crackers, and oreo cookies? I ask you!) But when I got here a magical CR feast appeared (well, I helped weigh the food and chop vegetables.) My favorite: MR's CR Zoned pizzas on low carb tortillas. Y'all knew where I was when I mentioned that before, didn't you? Can't pull one over on my faithful bloggiefriends... not that I would want to! Wheat bran for fiber on the side, glass of pinot noir, orange slice (eat the peel!).

Today:
breakfast: kefir (yes, it sounds like I am drinking my cat), whey powder, berries, salad with yu choi, mustard greens, kale, romaine lettuce, gailan, flax oil, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, salsa, green peppers, tomatoes. Oh my God it is so good! Coffee... we're okay with coffee.

Lunch: Sherm's binging brownie! SOOOO yummy! Further proof that I could live a very happy life hanging out with only CR'd M Prize donors named Michael.

Dinner... I don't know... MR has started working on cooking but I've been here communicating with M Prize donors while he does that so I'm not sure what he's cooking.

Aubrey is flying in tomorrow! Yes, everyone, tomorrow I am going to meet anti-aging superhero Aubrey de Grey. What will I say when I first meet him? Will I throw my arms around him and say "I feel like I know you! I've read everything you've ever written!" That's what I did when I met MR, though it's not technically true that I've read everything Aubrey's ever written. My cat has eaten a large number of his articles, though. Will I jump up and down and scream like a fourteen year old at a Backstreet Boys concert? Will I demand an autograph? My CR sister from the UK warns me that the British are not so emotional as those of us from the former colonies in North America, so maybe I should attempt to restrain myself from jumping up and down and screeching. At the very least I can hold off on asking for an autograph until he's had time to recover from the journey.

I am such a geeky fangirl. And yes, that's a paraphrase of an MR post to the list re: David Sinclair. A refrigerator magnet to the first archive-searching bloggie friend to run down the reference.

Consider Me a Widow, Boys, And I Will Tell You Why

2005-02-06T06:41:00.000-08:00

[This entry has been kicking around in my head since last Sunday, but I had to focus all my creative energies on actual fundraising, so it had to wait.]

One of my Three Hundred brothers suggested that I read a book called _Longitude_ by Dava Sobel, so that I could educate myself about the power of prizes. I immediately ordered the book and read it, finishing last weekend. It is about the prize that was offered for the scientist who could discover the secret of longitude, or how to tell where you are when you are at sea. There are obvious problems with being lost at sea: you could wander forever, or you could apruptly beach yourself on rocks because you didn't know you were so close to the shore. Many sailors died because there was no reliable way to tell longitude at sea. So after a major disaster in which thousands of sailors died in one day, a prize was offered for the discovery of longitude.

A humble watchmaker found the secret at last... while astronomers got all the hefty grants from the crowned heads of Europe.

I joked with my Three Hundred brother that he had given me nightmares about scurvy... reading about all these sailors becoming black and blue as through bruised as they floated aimlessly at sea, dying from a lack of vitamin C, did indeed give nightmares. But in the most vivid of these dreams, I had a clear vision of walking out along the shore, on the high platform called the Widow's Walk, looking out to sea for the ship that I had long ago lost hope of ever seeing again.

I can imagine how the wives of those thousands of sailors who died for lack of longitude felt... they lost the people whom they loved most for sheer lack of knowledge. Not to war, or famine, or disease, but to simple ignorance. We don't know where we are, and we don't know how to find out, so innocent people will die.

I woke up the next morning and grabbed my copy of Suzanne Vega's CD "Songs in Red and Gray." The song "Widow's Walk" had grabbed me from the first time I ever heard it, driving my car to my office in Vermont in 2002. But for the first time I found myself listening to the song over and over again, as I relived the vision of walking the widow's walk and cursing the lack of knowledge that had most certainly taken someone I loved away from me, forever.

Then today I did a radio interview with one of my brother life-extensionists, Dr. J Hughes, who hosts a Saturday radio show -- check it out at www.changesurfer.com. Dr. J asked me on the air why I thought there were so few women involved in life-extension, and we discussed how life-extensionism has been considered a selfish pursuit: you want to live forever. But what of everyone else?

I told Dr. J that I think of my life-extension work as not so much for me, but for those I love. Those in whom I can see the molecular processes that took generations before me visibly erupting in before my eyes.

One of my close friends, who has known me since way before I got into CR of life-extension or anything of the sort, said to me the other day that I have always been far more motivated by relationships than by ideology. Perhaps that's true. I see the world as a series of relationships, in which we are all dependent on each other. I see my work at fighting aging as an immediate, urgent attempt to save the people I love from death and decay. I hear the clock ticking. I see the seas rising and threatening to take the people I care about away from me. And I'm not going to stand back and watch it happen. Like I imagine those sailors' widows before longitude, I'm going to walk right up to the crowned heads and demand that something be done, before someone else's husband is sacrificed on the altar of our ignorance.

The headline of this post is taken from Suzanne Vega's "Widow's Walk," and I'll close with more:

So consider me a widow, boys
And I have told you why
Does the weather say a better day
Is nearing?
And I'll set my house in order now
And wait upon the Will
Cause it's clear that I need
Better skill in steering.

That light is the horizon.

The Site of Your Armageddon Is Clear

2005-02-06T03:03:00.000-08:00

[This is a re-post of an entry from Jan. 19 for those who are just joining us. Scroll down past "Don't Ever Think That You Can't Change the Past and the Future" for some more recent stuff if you've already read this one.]

This blog has always had a bit of a whimsical, fun, and occasionally self-depricating flavor. I've joked that (with great respect to Helen Fielding) it had a touch of "Bridget Jones Lives Forever... or Dies Trying." And yet it is the story, told mostly through recipes and calorie counts, of my real life. Details are omitted here and there and you're left to read between the lines perhaps more often than you'd like, but you still get the truth as I experience it day to day. You've come with me on a long journey, and for over a month now you've gotten hints that our journey is about to take an interesting new turn. Well, the press release is out now and I'm finally ready to tell you what happens next.

"When we set out on this journey, there were no doubts in our minds..."
--Sting, "Something the Boy Said"

Back in March I set out on a journey to rescue my health from the destruction of the Standard American Diet, or in my case, the high fat vegetarian crap diet. I had been a lowfat vegan for five years, than had gradually given up those ways in favor of a lifestyle involved bagels and cream cheese and that was gradually wearing away my youth. In desperation as I got tired, gained weight, and saw (gasp!) the first signs of aging on my face, I reached back into my memory and found the chapter in Ray Kurzweil's _The 10% Solution_ that talked about CR. When I read that book at 22, I made the mental note to re-approach the subject when I neared 30. So sure enough, six months before my 30th birthday, in March 2004, I did a google search on "calorie restriction" and came upon the CR Soceity webpage at www.calorierestriction.org.

Wow! I found a wealth of information that gave me hope... hope that I could feel better, get better, look better, and maybe even add a few years not just onto the end of my life but to my youth and health. I owe much to those who put together the CR Society, because without it, I would never have had any idea how to do this thing that has changed me forever.

I also discovered the CR Society email list. For months, I actually read every single word of every single post. I thought everyone did! I don't have internet access at home, so I'd come to work early and stay late so that I could catch up on my list. I couldn't really separate out the sense-making stuff from the idiocy at first, but I gradually began to follow some of the discussions and note that some of the frequent posters seemed to know a lot.

I also sent email to the address listed for the CR Society Human Study, asking how I could help. I got a message back (after a little over a week, during which I sat around wondering "Why does it take these people so long to answer their email?") from a person whose name I had come to recognize from The List. There are two things I remember distinctly about this email. One was that in response to the question on the study questionaire "How long would you be willing to stay on the diet?" I had written "forever," and the person who wrote me back said:

"... but hopefully, someone's going to come up with the CR-mimetic drug (or something better) long before then!"

Huh? What's he talking about? I had no clue, but shelved it for futher investigation.

The other thing I distinctly remember was this line:

"Many folks just starting out are very enthusiastic, and are delighted to meet others already practicing CR. They often immediately want to jump into the discussion with all of their questions and ideas. While this is just right for the CR Community list, it often leads to some 'heat' on CR society, as curmudgeonly old-timers like me don't take well to a zillion 'beginner' question."

Okay, well, I'm definitely never posting to that list, thought I! Scary!

So I began to practice CR... a very easy version at first, aiming for 1200 calories on weekdays and not worrying too much about it on weekends. I kept track of my calories on Excel spreadsheets, ate a lot of hardboiled eggs, and kept on reading The List as though my life depended on it.

The immediate effects were shocking. I started to lose weight, felt dramatically better, and I walked around my office repeating "We are Dr. Walford's mice, we find a longer life quite nice."

Then in June, a post came across the CR list that changed my life. No, it wasn't from MR... well, it was from a woman whom I later affectionally referred to as Little MR. Mary Robinson posted that she had started a CR blog on blogspot. The second I read it, I knew that I had to start my own blog.

I'd been wanting to write for a long time, but had felt like I had nothing I could safely write about. Certainly I could write about food! I also thought it would be a great accountability tool. After all, I would eat better if I believed the whole world was watching!

So I started this blog, and quickly became absolutely obsessed with it. I talked about the blog as though it were a person. For example, when something interesting would happen to me, I'd say, "I have to tell the blog about this."

On Monday, July 5, after the holiday weekend, I returned to my email to find two very encouraging messages posted to the CR List about the blog. One from Reason, posted to www.fightaging.org as well as to CR, that said,

"I think that keeping a CR blog is an excellent idea. If more people do it, these blogs would provide a very direct way of showing people what the practice of CR is actually like ... A community of interlinked CR blogs would greatly boost the online profile of calorie restriction in an area in which it is currently underserved - i.e. what's it actually like to practice CR on a day to day basis?"

The other from MR:

Hey, April: this is GREAT! Your obviously good humor, the combination of casualness with careful tracking & explicitly-stated intent to start using nutrition software -- I think that newcomers & the newly-interested would find this very appealing (not that you should start tailoring your blog entries as CR propaganda ;) ).

You can bet I ran around my office that morning frightening my co-workers by screaming, "They discovered the blog! They like it!" Reason and MR were already my heroes by that time, MR from his list postings and Reason from his own website.

Living On Dreams and Eggwhites

-- after "This One's For the Girls" by Martina Mc Bride

I kept writing and Mary and I read each other's blogs every day. She'd write to me with comments about what I was eating, and at one point she sent me a message in which she expressed her concern that I wasn't eating nearly enough protein. That sent me off on the Great Protein Quest... a massive expedition that lasted months and quickly grew from a simple quest for protein sources into a comprehensive reading of gigantic portions of the CR Society archives. Dean helped me find the missing link to the old MR post now referred to as the Albatross, and I had a rather impressive nutritional identity crisis, very well detailed in the blog, as I switched from Priestess of the High Carb Darkness to Moderately Successful (if you just look at the day as a whole, not individual meals) Zone Wannabe.

I discovered "RANT: Moderate CR" and was absolutely blown away by the power of the writing (Stevie Wonder pipes in from my walkman with "Knocks Me Off My Feet," and I remember reading the rant for the first time on a day when I had barely eaten anything and having to lie on the floor for awhile to process. Luckily I was the last one in the office, so I didn't have to explain why an old email about food had caused me to literally lose my balance.) Of course it was the importance of the message that took my breath away (quote the Top Gun soundtrack if you must): if you want to do more than just feel better, (ie if you actually want to LIVE LONGER) you're going to have to do more than just "moderate" CR.

As soon as I read that I had no doubt about where I came down on the question of moderation. I wasn't just playing around with this living longer thing -- I wanted to cheat death no matter what it took. I was a bit terrified of what it might take... social struggles, getting really really thin, fundamentally changing my diet for the very long term... but I knew I had to try. I wanted my extra 20 years of youth and health, and I was willing to pay the price for it.

Today while I was driving from Philly to Pittsburgh I heard a song on the radio called "This One's For the Girls," and the line, "living on dreams and Spaghetti-O's" jumped out at me. I'd call the summer of this year my "living on dreams and eggwhites" period. Searching the archives didn't just make me change my diet; it opened up a whole new world that I hadn't known existed. I became dimly aware that there were people who thought that life could be extended by methods much more radical than CR.

The first mention of Aubrey de Grey in the blog dates back to July 13. I had read something in one of MR's posts that pointed to the SENS website (that's at http://www.gen.cam.ac.uk/sens/ for any of you who are either a) new to the blog b) have been hiding under a rock for the last two months.) I read some of the articles for non-specialists and was fascinated by what I saw there. But at the time, it didn't seem to have much to do with me. Fabulous that scientists were working on ways of engineering negligible senescence, hope it works, sounds like a great idea. If I were a scientist, I'd work on that. But since I'm not a scientist, I'd better just keep doing my CR, which thanks to The List and its magestic archives is something I can do in the here and now to keep myself younger longer.

"You can step outside your little world..."
-- "She's A Beauty" by The Tubes

But still, there was something so intriguing about de Grey's website that I found myself clicking on it over and over again. Everytime I read another one of the articles found there, I felt like I was sneaking a peak into a world where I really didn't belong, and that made it even more fun. I mean, what's a girl who majored in history in college and forgot to multiply 100 by 4 and note that it comes out to more than half of 800 (bloggie in-joke for those of you who were with me from the beginning!) doing reading all this science stuff? That's fine for people who actually know something, but I was barely able to keep my calorie counts together, much less understand how people might engineer the reversal of aging!

Still, there was a page on the SENS website that kept me coming back over and over again. It's right here: http://www.gen.cam.ac.uk/sens/how.htm/ and it's called "What you can do for SENS." I especially liked the part at the end:

WHOEVER YOU ARE: talk to your friends/family/colleagues about what life would be like without aging and find out what they don't like about the idea. Get better at rebutting their arguments. You'll find that they will very quickly realise they have no arguments, but then it gets harder, because they will try to change the subject. Don't let them get away with this. Read my reasons why I claim people should be working now to cure aging as soon as possible, and tell me if there are ways in which you think they can be improved or added to. In fact, you're welcome to contact me with any suggestions you may have for how the SENS effort can be expedited, whether by improvements to this site, activities of the Methuselah Foundation, whatever.

There was a section about what you can do if you're a biologist, a journalist, or extremely wealthy, but there wasn't a section about "What to do if you're an organizer." I thought about emailing de Grey, since it's all over his website that he wants people to email him, but I chickened out every time. "But my silent fears would grip me, long before I reached the send button..." [No explanation necessary on that one unless you've been hiding under a pop music rock for over 20 years.] It just seemed silly to write to this rather famous guy and say, "Hey, I'm a union organizer and I've got this blog and is there something I can do to help?"

Knowing what I know now, I wish I had emailed Aubrey earlier. One of the lessons that I have learned from the last few months is when in doubt, hit the send button.

But I was still absorbed in the process of figuring out how to eat to best preserve the body I have now, and I figured the science boys (and girls) didn't need to be bothered with my silliness. It would be several months before events kicked me out of hiding.

Fast foward to the CR Society conference in Charleston, South Carolina. It's an unusually warm Thursday morning and I am standing by the elevator with some vague notion of going back up to my room to brush my teeth for the third time before the morning session starts. I look to my left and see that standing by the front desk, talking to Lisa Walford, was a six foot tall redhead who looks about 22 and can be none other than Michael Rae.

There is a blog entry from Nov. 4 that records what I did at that exact moment: I snuck over to the computer in the lobby to pretend to be checking my email while attempting to listen in on their conversation. Wow! Lisa Walford and Michael Rae, two of my CR superheroes, right before my eyes! It took all of my self-restraint to not run over and ask for an autograph, but Mary and I had made a pre-conference pact that we would absolutely not behave like MR groupies.

I made the decision right then and there to follow MR around and learn as much from him as I possibly could while I had the real live person in front of me. One thing about being an organizer is that you learn to make a pest of yourself in a productive fashion. That's how I found myself in the Great Debate that is detailed in "Don't Ever Think That You Can't Change the Past and the Future," Dec. 1 blog entry. I had pushed a few people out of the way to make room for MR to sit next to me at dinner, then I made him answer questions while he was trying to eat (in spite of Dean's admirable attempt to rescue him... "Let him eat!" I think was the direct quote, right Dean?) By this time I was publically quoting MR to MR, and as it turned out he had been reading my blog (though he was unable to quote it word for word.) When another CR brother came to collect him for a meeting with some other folks about the CR Society medical study, he (the other brother, not MR, who was still being hounded by questions from everyone at the table) suggested that I sit in on the meeting, since a bunch of us were planning to go out bar hopping (I mean, acquiring a source of resveratrol, of course!) after that.

People trailed in and out of the main conference room during the meeting, and eventually the meeting broke up and the crowd gathered for the scene that is chronicled in detail in "Don't Ever Think..."

I left the room that night with many more questions than answers.

There I was, in Charleston for a conference about CR, in the presence of my number one CR superhero, the man whose writing had changed my life, and he's saying that we need to do whatever we can to fund the Methuselah Mouse Prize and do the rodent studies and engineer the technology to not just postpone disease and death by a few years, but to actually reverse aging.

I'd been carrying around a blog entry about the M Prize in my head for about a month at this point, planning to write it up just post-conference once I had clarified a few details. I was already on board with the project, but I didn't think there was much I could do beyond writing my blog entry and giving $20/month, maybe getting a few friends to donate too. Sure, I had fantasies about raising tons of money for the thing, but that seemed like a silly girl's dream (allusion to Dave Matthews intentional.) Not too silly to mention it: the whole debate started off when I asked MR what he'd do with that $23 million that his email signature had referred to for months. But I had never emailed de Grey because I was pretty convinced that I'd never be anything more than a well-intentioned groupie.

I knew I had to write up the debate in a blog entry... it was just too important not to tell my readers about it. And I knew I'd need help with some of the details... while my account is a simplified summary, the actual debate was very complicated and went on for about two hours. So shortly after the conference I wrote to some of the folks who had been in the room and asked if they'd work with me on a blog entry about the incident.

What followed was a long process throughout November in which I would write a draft, Michael would read it, he'd write me suggestions and corrections. We quickly moved from the abstract "What should one do?" to the specific, "What should April do?"

With all the scripture-quoting rhetorical firepower of MR pointed directly at me night after night, it was a foregone conclusion that I would enlist in the war on aging. I have thought to myself that the writings of MR were a gateway drug to the addictive, dangerous stuff of Aubrey de Grey. You think you can have just a little... you eat a bit more protein, you read the CR Society archives, you click on the pretty SENS webpage, and it's all fun and games until the next thing you know you're throwing away a successful nine year career in order to spend all your time mobilizing funds for the M Prize.

MR and I had no idea at the time when we were working on the blog entries that I would actually be offered an opportunity to enlist in a full-time capacity. Still, when I read over our letters, there's this sense that something was going to happen. On November 17, on the topic of whether we should put our efforts into converting people to CR or the SENS project and the M Prize, he wrote:

"April, if you really have the fire in your belly to put an end to the clockwork attrocity of one generation after another sliding into aging, disability, suffering, disease, and death -- for yourself, for your loved ones, and for humanity -- then you must put your efforts into projects designed to put an end to the entire horror...

I don't want to dump this responsibility on you, and I frankly fear of sending you down a potentially dangerous road. But if you are looking to throw yourself into an assault on the ultimate degenerative disease, then I think that the site of your Armageddon is clear."

And then later, but still before we knew that we were talking about anything other than what a union organizer might do in her extremely limited spare time,

"Here's another for you, should you need it: 'General, count me in.' -Princess Leia"

And I wrote back a message whose subject line was "General, count me in." What followed was the publication of the blog entries on the topic, and then through a seemingly magical series of events, I was offered the chance to work all the time on the project of raising money for the M Prize.

So here we are. In a few days I won't be a union organizer anymore. But I'll be organizing for what I believe is the most important fight of my life.

That doesn't mean that I'll be quitting CR, or pursuing it with any less passion. I need the health, the life that CR gives me, and I may need the extra 20 years to see this project through to its conclusion! Besides, it has always been my experience that passion is not a zero sum game, and that two passions can feed off each other in a way that magnifies both. To me, CR and SENS are inextricably intertwined over the medium term.

Since I've decided to take on this new challenge, I've gotten a lot of questions about "Why would you want to live longer?" "Aging is something that happens to all of us, why fight it?" "Isn't it selfish to want to cure aging?"

If you are wondering any of those things right now, I want you to try this experiment. Don't think about aging as it is happening to you: instead, picture the person you love most in the whole world. Then imagine that person getting older... not just getting a few gray hairs and needing reading glasses, but having to hold onto things to walk, afraid of going out for fear of falling on the ice and breaking a hip, perhaps even losing the sharpness of mind that drew you to him or her in the first place, perhaps unable to remember who you are. Being eaten alive by cancer cells, or barely holding onto life in an ICU somewhere, attached to feeding tubes and breathing machines and almost wanting to die but hanging on because life if just too precious to let it go, even in the midst of great pain.

Why is that inevitable? Why let that happen if you have a choice? Why would you accept that suffering, not for yourself but for someone you love, if there's anything, anything at all, that you could do to stop it?

You can stop it. Make it stop. If you don't believe me (and I don't blame you, I was a little skeptical at first) go read the SENS website and tell me why it won't work. Go read about the success Dr. Stephen Spindler's research group has had in extending mouse lifespans, with a CR'd Mouse! (check out Charlie's picture at www.mprize.org, and join the Three Hundred while you're there, would you?) CR is powerful, but it isn't enough. I'm hoping that it's enough to keep me hanging on through the wee hours of the morning and until the dawn of radical life-extending biomedicine.

Don't wait until you're saying goodbye for the very last time, the only time that really matters, to that person you imagined a few paragraphs ago. Join me now in believing that something better is possible, and that together, we have the power to do something about it!

Saint Augustine and I have had our disagreements, but I think that at the end of this entry and at this major turning point in my life, I owe him the courtesy of the last word:

"Let those who think I have said too little and those who think I have said too much, forgive me; and let those who think I have said just enough thank God with me."

Don't Ever Think That You Can't Change the Past and the Future

2005-02-06T03:00:00.000-08:00

[Note: This was originally published on December 1, 2004, but I am republishing it here so you can find it easily after reading the previous entry.]

Great line from Kate Bush's "Love and Anger," a song I got off a mix tape that an arguably crazy sixteen year old red-headed percussionist made for me in 1990.

And the title of this post because I think it sums up Aubrey de Grey's approach to curing aging.

I still have so much to read, and I would love it if my readers would hop on over to the SENS (that's Strategies for Engineered Negligible Senescence, or, to quote Michael Rae's t-shirt, "Engineering the Fountain of Youth") website to read the same stuff I'm reading for yourself. Here's that web address again: http://www.gen.cam.ac.uk/sens/

What I find most inspiring about reading de Grey's work is that he thinks aging can be not just slowed, or treated symptomatically, but cured in the same sense that we can now cure a person who has a deadly infection by treating him with antibiotics: one day you are suffering from a fatal disease that has killed untold legions before you, and after a few treatments it's gone, and you're as healthy as if you had never been infected. De Grey also seems to think that the belief that aging can't be cured is the main thing standing between us and a real solution.

I'm not going to say too much here about de Grey's work because I really want you to read about it for yourself, and I think you're more likely to that if I don't make a lame attempt to explain the rather complicated concepts that he makes comprehensible. Just go click and read for yourself. Go on now, go on and do it. I'm watching you. I'm going to be mad if you don't.

You'll note, if you actually did as you were told, that on the front page of the SENS website is a button to click to "Donate to the Methuselah Mouse Prize." Do you want to know what that is? Well, go click on it! I don't even make you search the CR Society archives all that often, the least you could do is click the button on the pretty website.

There you go. Now, I bring this up because said prize was the topic of a debate I witnessed on Friday night of the CR Society Conference.

To make a long story short, or not so short: a group of us were getting up to leave after this absolutely fascinating meeting about the CR Society medical study, and my head was already spinning from the utter fabulousness of watching the brilliant people in the CR Society work. As we were winding up the meeting, I said something to the effect of, "Well, let me know if you ever need a fundraiser." The glow in MR's eyes (bright, bright blue) went up a couple of points, and I told the story of how ever since he put on his email signature that the profits from the movie Spiderman could pay for some giant amount of anti-aging reserach, I had been going around threatening to raise the $23 million. When I asked what specifically he would do with $23 million, he said he would put it into the Methuselah Mouse Prize Fund.

From all over the room, questions began to fly...

Questioner 1: "Why would you put the money into the Mouse?"

Questioner 2: "If you had $23 million, why not fund research directly, instead of putting the money into a prize?"

Questioner 3: "But Michael, what about CR, and all the evidence that it prevents diseases like cancer and heart disease? After all, we are the CR Society."

The debate that erupted continued for about two hours, with Michael fielding questions from all sides. I am a bit foggy about some of the transitions, but it came down to basically this:

We need a large amount of money, directed only at the actual prevention/reversal of aging. The problem with this is that nobody wants to fund it with venture capital because guess what... it takes a long time to see if people will die! As soon as a CR mimetic drug looks promising, for example if it looks like it can also be a cancer drug or some such thing, then all the capital goes into that, since a profit can be made right now, and the studies are shorter term. For example: Geron was founded by Michael West to exploit telomerase as the cellular fountain of youth. Venture capital got excited about this early on, because West put forward a powerful pitch at a crucial time (the early, optimistic inflation of the biotech bubble), but investors rapidly lost interest in the long term goals and began insisting that Geron be forthcoming with a drug get into the drug development pipeline post haste. So telomerase as anti-aging enzyme became telomerase as a target for inhibition as a cancer treatment. The same thing has happened to all of the biotech companies that have initially made their buzz by promising anti-aging drugs: Sirtris, Elixir, and all the way down.

So while it's great that CR and CR mimetics would prevent or postpone disease, the constant chasing of cures for diseases is actually diverting resources from research to fight aging itself. Short term profits can be made on curing diseases like cancer... meanwhile, research on the cure for the disease that everyone gets (aging) is pathetically underfunded.

As you may have observed, people who actually have diseases are willing to pay a lot to cure them. Patients and their advocates are also very politically active in pushing for -- and getting! -- government funding for work on their specific diseases, whereas as yet only a few people with the universal disease do so. A huge percentage of the National Institute on Aging and National Institute of Mental Health budget goes into Alzheimer's disease, for example, despite the logic of diminishing returns: as people undergo biological aging, they will get sicker in body and mind, and neither a powerful treatment nor an outright cure for Alzheimer's disease will save them from the long downward spiral. As Leonard Hayflick has said, cures for all of the "diseases of aging" will not make us live forever or even significantly extend our healthy years, but would simply “reveal the underlying cause of all age-associated diseases, that is the physiological decrements characteristic of the aging process itself. We will not become immortal because the inexorable loss in physiological capacity (the hallmark of the aging process) will cause most deaths and will require a new vocabulary to …describe for the majority of deaths the loss of function in some vital organ.” Cure for cancer or no, each and every one of us is slowly dying of chronic aging, but the funding for research doesn't reflect that reality.

So now we come to one of my favorites of de Grey's points: people are so convinced that stopping aging is impossible, that they don't even want to try. They're willing to put massive resources into searching for the cure for diseases, but when you start to talk about curing aging itself, people look at you like you just stepped out of a science fiction movie.

Meanwhile, back in the CR meeting room, the questions kept flying:

Questioner 1: "We all agree that we need to fund the research. I think we might be able to fund the real anti-aging research by generating interest in a normal, mainstream sounding foundation that will help people be healthy. We obviously need large, huge amounts of money. How can this be raised without appealing to a broader audience than life-extensionists like ourselves?"

Michael: "What we need to do is convince more people to believe that curing aging is possible, then get them to do something about it."

Questioner 2: "But Michael, what if you can't get normal people to believe that?"

Michael: "That's the whole point of getting people involved who know how to change other people's minds. It's going to take more than just scientists to cure aging... we have to mobilize the political will to fund the project. I believe we can do it... and April, people like you can play an important role. You have great skills at organizing, persuading, and supporting people in the formation of mass movements, even in the face of peoples' aquired defeatism and false consciousness. Not to make you personally responsible for changing the world or anything..."

[At this point I am in shock that Michael Rae thinks there's something I can do to help. My head is spinning, and I'm fairly sure it's not just low blood sugar.]

Meanwhile, the other people in the room, oblivious to my shock and surprise, keep firing off questions at Michael.

The need for vast amounts of money is one thing everyone in the room can agree on.

Michael: "The Prize is good because it provides an incentive for scientists to pursue, and for venture capital to fund, research directly targeting intervention into the aging process. If they're successful, then we jubilantly hand over the prize money; if they're wrong, we haven't lost any money on a failed experiment and can continue to dangle the prize money in front of more scientists and investors."

Questioner 1: "I think we should take that $23 million that April's threatening to raise and fund the research ourselves, instead of using money as a motivation for others to do it."

Michael: "But we can't hope to fund all the research ourselves, and we certainly can't know in advance which projects will be successful. Many plausible anti-aging interventions have already been tested and have flopped. We could blow millions and have nothing but a bunch of dead rats."

Questioner 3: "But Michael, you're the posterboy for CR: you spend tons of time and energy practicing CR, reading CR related studies, and writing about CR. Now you're saying you'd take April's $23 million and put it into the Methuselah Mouse Prize... why wouldn't you give it to one of the scientists whose work is all about CR?"

Michael: "As I've said many times, CR is crude, weak medicine. At best, it delays the inevitable. But we should have no illusions that by practicing CR we're doing any more than that, UNLESS it helps us hang on to the dawn of genuine, radical life-extension biomedicine. That's why I'd put April's $23 million into the Methuselah Foundation."

And round and round. I left the room that night with many more questions than answers.

It wasn't until much later, after hours of writing and thinking and reading and arguing, that I made my decision about what I, personally, would do.

I'll sum it up in one of my favorite lines of all time:

"General, count me in."

The Sound of One Cat Playing With a Paper Bag

2005-02-06T02:38:00.000-08:00

You haven't had a cat story in awhile, so here's a short one. It's 2:30 am, I have to be up at 4:00 am anyway to get a plane, and my cat just woke me up by investigating a very loud paper bag. Almost as delicious as a de Grey article. Is there anyone out there who has a Cat Who Eats Paper?

I wonder if she understands what she eats. Like, if the cat could talk, could she discuss SENS intelligently after all the de Grey articles she's chewed up? Could she give me nutrition advice having eaten the complete works of Michael Rae?

I just don't sleep, and it's starting to show. It's nice to be able to chat with my European Three Hundred brothers in the middle of the night, but I really must find some harmony between my sleep schedule and the time zone in which I reside.

So What Did Ya Eat?

2005-02-05T22:52:00.000-08:00

CR friendly fancy brunch:

shrimp sauteed with red pepper and grape tomatoes in calorie free butter spray, then folded into an eggwhite scramble, served over a bed of arugula

dinner: shrimp and scallops steamed with red pepper and broccoli and stewed tomatoes in chardonnay, served over arugula

calcium supplement, glass and a half of wine.

lots of water.

coffee.

Packing: sweaters, as it will be cold. The book for Aubrey, the dried cranberries for Michael.

Getting on a plane early in the morning to spend eleven days with my intellectual inspiration... oh, yeah, and Aubrey de Grey too! And Kevin, and another M Prize brother who is flying in for the occasion of Aubrey's talk... it is very exciting to actually meet so many of my friends! You forget how odd it is to have friends you've never seen. I'm looking forward to actually seeing these people who now feel so close to me.

Dani, I'm counting on your colleagues to get me to Chicago, and then to Calgary. Put in a good word for me, okay?

Fish Oil Question Answered

2005-02-04T09:01:00.000-08:00

MR found it for me... he says to warn you that it's technical.

http://lists.calorierestriction.org/cgi-bin/wa?A2=ind0405&L=crsociety&P=R19500

There you go!

Wait, Added a Small Snack

2005-02-04T06:09:00.000-08:00

Hi all. Since I'm up (one-woman time zone and all that) I thought I'd tell you that I added in a small snack at the end of the evening last night. I guess I had to eat something more since my night was longer than usual -- up late calling M Prize donors from the West Coast. I had an 80 calorie serving of lowfat cottage cheese and some salsa. Yummy! Good calcium too.

Finally went to bed, and then woke up very, very awake at 2:30. And for the first time in years, I was able to just walk out into the living room and check my email. No getting dressed and driving in the icy cold to the office. Wow.

Thank you, cable modem. Thank you soon, wireless. This brand new life is brought to you by the Internet.

And in some distant dimension of reality, the little April of 1994 says, "Amen!"

[You had to be there, but for those of you who were: flashback, Feb. 1994 -- Progressive Party debate, Saybrook Atheneaum Room:
Resolved: "The Information Superhighway is a Dead End Street"]

Two Minute Break

2005-02-03T23:37:00.000-08:00

Hi commenter -- let me answer your question about who donates to the M Prize in more detail once I've surveyed more people. So far, the people whom I've spoken with aren't all that wealthy, they're just people who are very excited about the possibility of radical life-extending biomedicine, and they're willing to do something about it. They've also been very friendly, helpful, encouraging, fun to talk with, fascinating, etc. I'm really, really enjoying meeting them.

So more detail soon. For now, here's what I ate today:

breakfast -- eggwhites 140

lunch -- arugula (20) with too much flax oil ooops (90) and red wine vinegar
giant amount of soup: 4 cups free range organic chicken broth with two crowns of broccoli, 2 tablespoons brewers yeast, 1 can stewed tomatoes, 1 red pepper, a little Texas Pete -- about 250

latte with skim -- 80

dinner -- the rest of the carton of eggwhites -- 140

will probably have a glass of wine later but am fighting to stay awake so as to call M Prize donors on the West Coast in their evening, so am holding off. took my chewy calcium supplement for 20

More tomorrow... back to work!

Making Myself Stay Up Late

2005-02-03T08:31:00.000-08:00

One thing I'm noticing about my new work is that it is going to require a schedule change.

Now my schedule has always been kinda crazy. Getting up very early, working fairly late, but rarely working until much past nine or ten pm. However, when you wake up at 4 am, 9 or 10 pm is very late! As I'm phoning M Prize donors, I'm finding that many of them live on the West Coast and can't talk until evening. So I have to somehow train myself to stay up later so that I can call them and be awake!

Of course this morning I woke up at 4. So I'm timing my caffeine intake for the day so that I can stay up later. I will go grab a latte with skim (more calcium) at around four so the caffeine will hopefully keep me going. Spending some time in a more favorable time zone next week will help as well.

Breakfast: eggwhites, 140 calories. I know you're dying of shock.

What You Always Needed

2005-02-02T18:41:00.000-08:00

That's a line from Jesse McCartney's "Beautiful Soul," the only love song I've ever heard that contains the line, "I don't wanna waste your time." And it's the title of this issue, as it deals with my little supplement problem.

Well, we know I have a bit of an issue with some nutrients. And since one of the world's experts in such things is watching me rather carefully, I have gotten some me-specific info that I definitely wanted to act upon asap. So I dragged myself to the health food store and bought the supplements he says I need. No point in doing all this work on my diet and keeping my calories low if I'm missing something essential, right? So I got zinc, flax oil (hey, RK -- omega 3's! I'll let you know how it works!) wheat bran, and decided to deal with the rest of it when I'm in the presence of the expert. For now, you can stop worrying about my zinc and my omega 3's -- do you feel better yet? Calcium, as you read, I've dealt with. Yummy chewy calcium supplements! I am such a simple creature... just feed me something yummy and I'll take my supplements. Too bad AOR doesn't make some kind of knock-off of Hello Kitty Chewable Vitamins... "Good day, cat!"

Today's food:

hard boiled egg -- 70
eggwhite scramble -- 140
cottage cheese -- 80
salad: lettuce, tomato, cucumber, onion, green pepper, olives, broccoli, vinegar
-- 200
tuna fish with hotdog relish and capers -- 200
piece of seseme bread -- 75? (visiting my mom's carb castle)
glass of Riesling -- 85

going home to take my flax oil. 2 teaspoons -- that's not a tablespoon!

To all my commenters -- thank you! Sorry I haven't written answers to all your questions. Re: fish oil: I need to do an archive search for you, but I've been off my favorite drug -- the CR Society archives -- so that I can focus on my fundraising responsibilities. Cathy from myfoodbuddy.com -- I love your site! Rock on! I suggest that everyone check it out! Re: exercise -- I used to walk 4 miles a day about five days a week. Now I do less since I moved. I need to do more! Need to do weight training again. Strong bones and such. Thanks for the encouraging comments, all.

More soon, bloggiefriends!

The Most Important Thing About a Calcium Supplement Is That You Take It

2005-02-02T06:53:00.000-08:00

That's my quote for the day. Unless you just crawled out from under a rock, you can figure out who said it. It wasn't a general pronouncement, I think it was just me-specific advice. I think it actually is ironic that girl-who-can't-take-pills is now very happily entangled with someone who spent the last five years creating pills. Luckily, we've figured out that I will take supplements if they are presented in the form of little treats. Yes, much as though I were an animal that is incapable of rational thought and responds only to yummy food. Last night after I had finished a delicious CR dinner with actual CR friends (wow!) we all shared a dessert of my chewy calcium supplements. I had two: that's 40 calories. The only calcium food I'd had was 80 cals of cottage cheese, so I felt like I could have two calcium treats. Am I wrong?

Yesterday's food was boring until dinner: 80 cals of cottage cheese, followed by a salad of lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, hot peppers, cucumbers, green peppers, onions, olives, vinegar.

For dinner I made a delicious "cream" of cauliflower soup: two heads of cauliflower pureed in six cups of free range organic chicken broth with four cloves of garlic, a few dashes of salt, and some of this calorie free parmesean flavored Italian seasoning that comes in a shaker with a lot of other Italianesque seasonings. It was really, really good. Way to be cruciferous! Then I made a shrimp dish with red peppers, mushrooms, and artichoke hearts sauteed in white wine with a little bit of salt, stirred in the shrimp and served over a bed of arugula. Dessert was granny smith apples baked in a little spiced rum with cinnamon and a toasted walnuts on top, along with a thin layer of confectioner's sugar. Very CR friendly. My CR friends from New Jersey brought over a bottle of Chaddsford red wine, of which I had a glass and a half. Excellent CR dinner!

Had a good day on the phones yesterday chatting with M Prize donors. Back to it today!

First Day on Job

2005-02-01T13:07:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the silence bloggiefriends... have been frantically trying to get everything done to successfully begin my new life as fundraiser. So far this has included:

a) asking people for money (thanks to those of you who have already donated!)

b) running all over town looking for a seemingly non-existent cable to connect my computer to my phone so I can have internet service at home (remember, I was always driving to the office in the middle of the night before?)

c) calling those who have donated to the M Prize before to survey them about why they donated, ask them if they'd be willing to donate in a committed fashion (a small amount per month, so that we are building a sustainable, ever-growing stream of income for the Prize), and get their suggestions

d) trying to figure out any way I can get my computer attached to the internet so that I no longer have to be a wandering internet nomad!

Food has been very straightforward. Yesterday:

breakfast: cup eggwhites

morning snack: 80 cals cottage cheese

lunch: salad with romaine, tomatoes, red peppers, blue cheese crumbles, vinegar, and a broccoli stalk

dinner: two cups of vegetable soup (squash, stewed tomatoes, broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, mushrooms, brewers yeast, green peppers), 200 cals walnuts, glass of red wine

today:

it's 1:13 am and all I've eaten is a cup of coffee and 80 cals of cottage cheese, but I'm going to go make myself some lunch. I've been running down info about our current donors, and I'm very excited about talking with some of the most interesting people I've ever come into contact with.

Wish me luck...

Very Skinny Mom Is Sick!

2005-01-30T19:09:00.000-08:00

My poor mom is so sick she can't talk! Her cat is most annoyed, as he doesn't understand why she isn't speaking to him. I brought her over some very nutritious soup, free range organic chicken broth with broccoli, carrots, cauliflower, mushrooms, and brewers' yeast, to which we added a can of whole peeled tomatoes and some Tiger sauce (very spicy chili sauce.) Delicious! We also ate some grape tomatoes, some asparagi, and a few dill pickle slices, as well as a small glass of wine.

Other than that, I have had today: 80 cals cottage cheese, 140 eggwhites, 200 hazelnuts. Definitely coming in at or around calorie target today. Longing for the days of being with someone who counts calories better than I do, so that I can be lazy and still be perfect. For all of you who found my blog by searching yahoo for "Lazy Princess," there you go.

Am tired, and must get lots of good sleep tomorrow as am setting off to raise millions for the mouse tomorrow. Y'all go donate, now: www.mprize.org.

I'll Meet You Anytime You Want In Our Italian Restaurant

2005-01-30T12:20:00.000-08:00

Well, actually it was a Mexican restaurant that I went out to last night with one of my oldest friends. We don't get to hang out nearly enough anymore, but her fiance was out of town (Las Vegas bachelor party) so we had a girls' night out. We keep trying to figure out what to do for her bachelorette party, and we keep running up against the fact that we weren't all that wild in our young, single days. I mean, my idea of a good time is searching the CR Society archives. Her hobbies are rock climbing and interior decorating. Neither of us like to stay up late, and we hate clubbing. So what can we do on one of her last nights out as a single girl? Watch the Home and Garden channel? I think we'll at least manage to get the girls together and go out to dinner.

On the way home I heard Billy Joel's "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant" and it seemed more appropriate than ever. "Things are okay with me these days..."

It's been a weird weekend... frantically putting together my new "office" (which is a corner of my bedroom, walled off by a screen, only to be used for business purposes as per my accountant's advice... I live in a tiny one bedroom apartment) working on fundraising plans for the week, chatting with my favorite CR/Three Hundred brother about how we can convince people that curing aging is a) possible b) good c) something they can, should, and must give money to... NOW!

Yesterday was a good CR day until dinner: eggwhites for breakfast, 80 cals cottage cheese and a can of tunafish for lunch (I know, mercury, but I hadn't eaten canned tuna since September and I don't plan to have children in the next five years.) Then I met my friend who is planning a wedding (FWIPaW) for dinner in Center City Philly (which is our way of saying downtown Philly.) We had a margarita and ordered shrimp dishes and tortilla soup. The soup was amazing, we ate a few bites of chips with salsa (junkie carbs... predictable results... sometimes I really do need to be saved from myself and my carb thing) and then by the time the entrees came we were stuffed, so we ate a bite and then boxed up the rest to go. I was going to give my leftovers to my mom, who is at home sick, but I got stuck in the train station waiting for a train and gave the leftovers to a homeless man instead.

Today has been a good CR day so far. 80 calories of cottage cheese for breakfast. I think I will make eggwhites for lunch. Then tonight I am cooking a nice piping hot brewers yeast and free range organic chicken vegetable soup for my mom, who had to stand outside in the cold waiting for a train for an hour on Friday, and is now very sick. I'm also bringing her the NY Times and the Philly Inquirer, some grapefruits, and some throat spray. Everyone send get well thoughts to Very Skinny Mom, okay?

More philosophy soon.

I'd Trade It All

2005-01-28T23:58:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's a line from that most excellent song that P Diddy wrote for J Lo, performed by Fabulous (am I misspelling? will any of my blog readers know if I am?) on the Barbershop II soundtrack. Great song, one of my all time favorites, ends with a hysterically funny dig at Ben Affleck that goes something like this, as the song is trailing off:

I'd trade it all baby... and that's a lot... but you worth it... stop playing... with college boy.

It's a fine tradition of putting something particularly funny or profound at the very end of the song... raise your hand if you *don't* hang on until the end of "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic," hoping that the radio station won't go to the next song before the part when Sting sings, "It's a big enough umbrella, but it's always me that ends up getting wet." I once titled a mix tape that I made for a good friend "Big Enough Umbrella."

So today was my last day on my old job, and the co-workers took me out to lunch. I had a grilled pear salad, which was delicious. It had greens, grilled pears (they grill pears too?) tomatoes, toasted pecans, and little pieces of cheese. I also had a few bites of the banana rum creme brulee that one co-worker ordered, and the cinnamon apple ice cream that another had, as well as a slice of the brie appetizer that was ordered for the table. We had red wine with lunch and toasted my leaving with a bottle of champagne that a co-worker had given the office at Christmas but that had been sitting in the fridge for ages. I didn't have either breakfast or dinner, so while it was a giant high calorie lunch, I probably didn't go that much over my calories for the day.

It was very sad to leave my job, but I know I'll be seeing all my work friends frequently as I live only a mile or so away from the office.

You know that old poster that says, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life..."

Did Hell Freeze Over While I Was in Pilates Class?

2005-01-27T06:21:00.000-08:00

I got an email last night from an old friend I hadn't heard from since way before the recent events... she had checked out the blog, found out I'm leaving my job, and the headline was her reaction.

I also went out for dinner last night with a friend whom I hadn't seen since before Thanksgiving. Explaining my new job to him gave me a great opportunity to practice answering questions about the M Prize, the possibility of reversing aging, etc.

I've been informed that I need to get back to the food info... my friend who provided today's headline was looking for info on what to eat in the blog.

Here's yesterday:

breakfast: eggwhite scramble

lunch: giant salad from the produce stand salad bar with lettuce, cucumbers, tomato, asparagus, green beans, mushroom salad with some seseme dressing on it, pint of grape tomatoes

afternoon snack: cottage cheese, latte with skim

dinner: baby greens and arugula salad with stilton, pecans, wine poached pears, tomato basil dressing, glass of pinot noir

Sorry for the lack of specific nutrition info... Lots of eating out this week, as it's the last week on my old job. Big party scheduled for Friday. Tonight I have an out of town event, and am staying over to avoid driving home on the icy roads. The deer are suicidal around here... the other morning three ran right in front of my car.

Off to work... well, off to feed my cat first. I was out of cat food this morning, and ran over to my mother's house to get some. Sometimes I wonder if my twenty pound cat could eat me alive if he got tired of waiting for his breakfast.

A Place That Has To Be Believed To Be Seen

2005-01-26T06:20:00.000-08:00

[For this blog entry, you will need one copy of U2's "Walk On," which you may think is called "All That You Can't Leave Behind" because that's what it sounds like. You may also need a quick refresher on Greek myths, but most likely not.]

Back in September, I wrote a blog entry you can find here http://aprilcr.blogspot.com/2004/09/youre-packing-suitcase-for-place-none.html
referring to U2's "Walk On." In that entry, I briefly touched on the fact that those of us who do CR are engaged in an experiment whose results are uncertain, but which we believe will get us more years of life and health than living the way those around us live.

Last night as I was leaving my second to last public meeting with nurses (the last one will be Thursday, complete with a vegetable tray that no one other than VLC and I will touch) the song floated through my mind again. I am now leaving a life I've loved for a very long time in the belief that I'm heading for a place that has to be believed to be seen: a world where we no longer view aging and death as inevitable.

I think I started to hear the song in my head because an online discussion with one of my anti-aging superheroes got me thinking about how I would literally pack a suitcase for my first trip in my official capacity. I have a very large book to bring to said anti-aging superhero, and I'm trying to figure out how it will co-exist with the very warm sweaters I have to bring to Calgary so that I don't freeze to death. I have this rule about packing: I never, ever check a bag. Never, ever ever. Was traumatized by loss of luggage during a blizzard in Boston in 1994. So in the process of figuring out how to pack this book, my sweaters, dried cranberries for another one of my anti-aging superheroes, and other necessary items, I started to play the U2 song in my head. (Don't worry, anti-aging superhero -- the book will arrive safely in Calgary. I am very good at packing.)

I felt a stab of sadness leaving the nurses' meeting last night... while I have no doubt in my mind that I've made the right decision, it's always hard to say goodbye. This line from the U2 song jumped out at me:

And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second you turn back
Oh no, be strong
Walk on...

Then I remembered one of my favorite stories of someone who looked back: the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice. Here's the short version:

When Orpheus' wife, Eurydice, was killed by the bite of a serpent, he went down to the underworld to bring her back. His songs were so beautiful that Hades finally agreed to allow Eurydice to return to the world of the living. However, Orpheus had to meet one condition: he must not look back as he was conducting her to the surface. Just before the pair reached the upper world, Orpheus looked back, and Eurydice slipped back into the netherworld once again.
[by James Hunter, available here: http://www.pantheon.org/articles/o/orpheus.html]

A fitting story for those who have decided to dedicate their lives to cheating death.

Orpheus lost his wife, even after he had rescued her from the land of the dead, because he looked back.

I feel like those of us who are working to develop real anti-aging medicine are taking a slow-motion walk up from the world of the dead. Getting ourselves, and more importantly, the people we love, to the surface, depends on our belief that we will be successful. If we pause to look back, if we get distracted by the millions of other things we could be doing, we will watch our loved ones slip back into the netherworld. Not today, perhaps not for many years, but eventually.

Today I'll let Jean Cocteau have the last line, from _Orphee_:

"La femme Eurydice reviendra de la morte."

Yes yes yes, but what did you eat?

2005-01-25T22:37:00.000-08:00

I know, you tune in to the blog for food, not for philosophy.

So here you go:

breakfast: eggwhites (140)

mid-morning snack: half the cottage cheese carton (140)

lunch: salad with lettuce, beets, onions, a few little black olive slices, a spoonfull of chickpeas, fat free dressing, the crust from a co-workers' pizza

mid-afternoon snack: the rest of the cottage cheese and a skim milk latte (hello calcium!) (140)

dinner: salad with lettuce, tomato, capers, crabmeat, shrimp, regular dressing

after work event: glass of pinot noir with co-workers

Not sure on the calories on the salads, but it was obviously a good day for protein, calcium, there was some olive oil in salad dressing 2, and the only junkie carb was the pizza crust, which is pretty minor. It looks like between 1000-1100 to me. Really nailed that calcium, which I haven't done lately, so felt good about that. And the high protein days are always the best for mental function, alertness, etc.

It's 10:40 pm and I'm back at the office attempting to get a few things done before going to bed.

Great pop music fest on the radio driving back from the work event tonight... "Born to Run," followed by that Gordon Lightfoot song about the ghost from the wishing well, followed by the Cars' "Best Friend's Girl," followed by that sad song about the father and the daughter... you've heard it if you've ever somehow tripped over the Delilah show on a soft rock station.

Guess you had to be there, or be a pop music junkie.

Anyway, exhausted, much philosophy jumping around in my head, but more soon.

Why Should CR People Support the M Prize?

2005-01-24T04:15:00.000-08:00

It's an age-old question, like "What is art?" "Do you believe in love at first sight?" "Should redheads wear pink?" "Should redheads wear red?"

No one should wear orange.

But anyway, it's a question that's come up for me a lot lately because in my new role as fundraiser working in support of the M Prize (that's www.mprize.org for those of you who are new bloggiefriends or have been hiding under a rock for the last two months) I've been talking with some of my CR friends about their thoughts on the issue. My biases are clear: I believe strongly in the power of the M Prize to mobilize scientists to find a way to not just slow but also reverse aging. I've decided to leave a very successful nine year organizing career in order to put all my time and energy into mobilizing funds and public support for the Prize. So you know where I'm coming from.

The issue of why CR folks in particular should support the M Prize was floating around in my head as I began my day, at 2 am, with my extremely soft cat lounging against the side of my face. I can come up with one very simple reason: We may be the only ones around to benefit from the results.

The other day when I was drinking coffee with one of my non-CR'd Three Hundred brothers, he said that he didn't expect to be alive to see the fruition of the project. I thought to myself: I do! Not that my commitment would change if I didn't (aren't you guys wondering how it is that Aubrey de Grey taught me how to spell commitment? He was editing a press release I wrote about a month ago and that was one of many speeling errors!). For some people, CR isn't worth the effort, or they're not convinced it will bring significant lifespan increases in humans. However, I'd hate to miss the dawn of radical life-extending biomedicine by a decade or so. If CR works, and some of us think it does, it might just buy us enough time.

For those of us who already invest a substantial amount of our time and energy into the only known way to slow aging down, it only makes sense that we invest some amount of our money into a prize that can motivate scientists and the public at large to focus on finding a real solution, one that does not just hold off the inevitable for a few years, but that repairs the damage so that we can keep on going, just like the Energizer Bunny fresh from a battery change.

Oh dear, my 4 am explanations of rather complex scientific concepts leave something to be desired. I don't really sleep much, and I'm working on that, but this morning my cat woke me up for a two am cuddle and I never went back to sleep. I used to refer to myself as the Organizer Bunny... it just keeps going and going. CR has helped me function without sleep, but there are limits to what even CR can do, as evidenced by above silly paragraph.

Speaking of limits to what CR can do... come on guys, we love CR, we really really believe in it, we spend a lot of time chopping vegetables and stuff. So why are two of your favorite CR Society personalities throwing their entire lives into SENS and the M Prize?

Cause CR just isn't enough. You're doing CR because you want to slow your own aging process down. You want to live longer, healthier. Maybe you like the side effects, maybe you don't. But you definitely want what you believe CR will give you: more years of life and health.

Is there going to be a point when you don't want that anymore? Are you going to hit 107 years old (gotta clarify, as some of us hit 107 pounds awhile back!) and think to yourself, "Wow, I really enjoyed living to be 107 instead of 87, but I'm done now, it's really boring to be alive and healthy and watching my great grandchildren play Little League or fly spaceships around or whatever it is kids are doing these days. I think I'd rather just get sick and die." Not to channel Alicia Silverstone in Clueless or anything, but AS IF!!!!

If you're already doing CR, you're already doing something that is much, much harder than just throwing some cash at a problem. The great thing about the M Prize is that it doesn't require you to go out there, do research, figure out what you think scientists should be working on, or touch any mice. You don't have to back one horse or another -- you're able to fund the entire race. As more and more regular, ordinary people like us join on as donors, and preferably as Three Hundred members, we send a powerful message to the research community and to the decision makers at places like the NIA and the NIMH. We're regular folks who are willing to make sacrifices in our every day lives to put an end to suffering that we think is pointless.

You're in this thing with me for the long haul, you know, all you bloggiefriends who tune in every day, sometimes twice a day, sometimes eight times a day. You've already doing the thing that's really hard: cutting your calories, disciplining yourself to live a life in which you may be hungry, freakishly skinny, have social struggles, lose... yeah, whatever. If you've already decided to do CR, you've already decided that your health, for the long term, is worth some amount of sacrifice in the short term. So go to www.mprize.org and cough up some cash. You can do it. Write me that you did and I'll send you a recipe. Or a refrigerator magnet, if you'd prefer.

A Couple of Skinny Girls Shoveling Snow with a Broom

2005-01-23T15:00:00.000-08:00

Yeah, it looked pretty silly.

My mother and I figured we'd better try to dig out our cars while it was relatively warm and sunny here, so we went out to do the best we could. We had one snow shovel and a broom. So we took turns shoveling the snow, and batting at it with the wide end of the broom. A woman with a serious snow shovel came by and helped us get my car out, and my mom's car is one of those giant old American made tanks that can roll over almost anything, so it was able to extricate itself with relatively little digging.

Wow, it's cold! That bitter, wet cold of the northeast. People think that Philadelphia is a cold part of the world. It's actually not that cold here most of the time. I think it's more like DC than like New York or Boston. So when we get snow, it's an event. The schools close, the shops close, and no one has any idea what to do with themselves. Everyone seems to run out to buy milk and bread, which I find perplexing. The last thing I'd want to be snowed in with is a bunch of bread. Eggwhites, sure... in some cultures, it's considered a delicacy to eat eggwhites that are covered with a layer of snow, left outside overnight.

Back to the Mouse...

Another CR Perfect Snow Day

2005-01-23T13:53:00.000-08:00

Yes, we are buried, snowed in, covered in white fluffy wet powdery stuff.

Very very cold.

My mom and I walked up to the corner shopping center to have coffee and buy cat food. We also picked up some more veggies for tonight.

One thing about being snowed in at home (well, I'm at my mom's house, but it's walking distance down the block) is that it's very easy to eat CR perfect! This morning: eggwhites. Lunch: about half a carton of cottage cheese, that's 140 calories and tons of calcium. This afternoon: hazelnuts, maybe the rest of the cottage cheese. Dinner tonight: fancy veggie dinner! I'm going to sautee the mushrooms and the red peppers in a dry red wine with minced garlic and then stir in lightly steamed brocolini. My mom is coming over for the second night in a row, since there's nowhere else we can really go and we had planned to have dinner together tonight anyway.

In other CR friendly cooking news, I've just received confirmation that my CR brother from south Jersey and his wife are coming for dinner the first week in Feb. Fun! I think I will make one of my shrimp and scallop dishes... that tends to work for CR friendly company.

I have no idea how I'm going to get to work tomorrow... the snow is so high that our cars are packed in. The roads themselves are fairly clear, but they'll ice over night. Luckily I am only five miles from my office, but it doesn't take much to skid, and the roads near my house can be some of the worst. I have always been a super-careful driver, since long before I became a life-extensionist... as I said to one of my CR brothers the other day, explaining why I never, ever drive in Manhattan: You don't have to be a life-extensionist to not want to die *right now*.

Any Thought of Moderation Would Soon Disappear

2005-01-22T19:03:00.000-08:00

That's a pop music line I've been waiting to use for a long, long time. It's from "Nothing At All" by Heart, that female duo that also gave us "Magic Man." It was overplayed on the radio and thus not one of my favorites, but when I heard it not too long ago, I thought, wow, a pop music line that is destined to jump out of this blog someday!

The entire line goes:

From our first communication it was clear
Any thought of moderation would soon disappear

Any of you who read CR Community are now aware that in addition to a new career, I have some other wonderful developments in my life! I've always been of the "Life is so wonderful, why wouldn't I want as much of it as I can get?" brand of life-extensionism, but now I feel even more motivated than ever to do everything I can to take care of myself. I'm having so much fun now... why would I let aging take one minute of this incredible happiness away from me?

We all know I've been flirting with the idea of dropping my calorie levels a bit for quite some time now. Until now, I've been averaging 1100 - 1200, mostly because while I have quite a few days that come in at around 1000, I have at least one day in any given week when I go out and eat much more, sending my weekly averages higher.

Lately I've noticed that I feel dramatically better on the days when I stick to the 1000 range, and especially the days when I eat almost no junkie carbs and lots of protein. The difference in my mood and mental function is so remarkable that I think I would try to eat this way even if I knew there were no life-extension benefits whatsoever. A recent conversation with my salad eating CR brother Dean has caused me to remember how much CR is, for me, very much about the here and now. There are just so many immediate benefits for me... the side effects are good enough to justify my CR practice no matter what. I'd like to point out that I'm not calling my new relationship a "side effect" of CR... though these days I do feel like a bit of an advertisement for the CR Society. It goes like this:

"Join the CR Society! Get the body you've always wanted, your dream job, and the most amazing man in the universe! All for just $35, and a dramatic decrease in your calorie intake!"*

* results not typical

I too am in the "Am I living in a science fiction fairy tale?" phase.

The point being, the short term benefits of the reduced calorie intake are so positive for me, and the long term benefits seem likely enough to pay off, that I'm planning on taking my calories down to 1000 every day, unless I see my weight dropping too quickly.

This means a few things:

1. No more junkie carbs! I think this may be my final farewell to bread. But who needs bread when you know that a Sherm's megamuffin is waiting for you in some extremely cold part of the world?

2. More attention to detail! Lately I've been going out to eat too much, and not really knowing what's in my food.

3. Stop worrying so much about what other people think! The people I eat out with aren't there because they care what I eat, they're there because they enjoy my company! It doesn't matter if I just eat a salad. They'll still like me. And if they don't, you have to really wonder about them.

4. There will be some social occasions (I can see Lisa's wedding as one of these) where I'll eat too much and not beat myself up about it, but I know from past experience that every time I overeat, my anxiety spikes and it takes away from my peace, well-being, and optimal mental function. So why bother?

It's a little easier to contemplate this course of action because I've learned some tricks from a CR brother who gets quoted a lot that will make it easier for me to take my CR on the road when I travel. For instance: the magic megamuffin. So much good stuff, so easy to pack, so yummy! Did I tell you bloggiefriends about the morning I woke up from a dream about eating tons of megamuffins? I must email Sherm himself to say thank you. They rock my world.

Also, volume. One thing I noticed when CR bro who gets quoted a lot (CRBWGQAL? that's too long... he needs another name) was cooking for me... my food at home is pretty low volume. When I am eating higher volume food, I get stuffed before I even reach 1000! I can learn to cook a little higher volume low calorie at home. Of course, it's harder to pack everything into 1000 than 2000, but I've been doing pretty well so far.

So I'm going to give it a try, and watch my weight carefully to make sure the pounds aren't falling off too quickly. I look so very normal (anyone who has actually seen me is welcome to comment affirming this... no doubt we're in for another round of "are you anorexic?" comments) that if I lose a little weight I'll still be in the "I'm so lucky to be a naturally curvy girl!" phase. I'm also straightening out my supplement situation, which in addition to the pretty good nutrition I get from my food will calm any fears that I'm somehow killing myself. Got a chewable calcium supplement today... more on that later.

In case you're wondering, I didn't go to the NYC CR Society meeting because it got snowed out! The snow started pounding us at 11 am, and it came down solid until just a few minutes ago. I think that there is at least a foot on the ground right now. The city is shut down. I was going to have my mom over for dinner tomorrow (Sunday) night, but we decided to do dinner tonight since I was unexpectedly in town. We bundled ourselves up and walked to the grocery store, trudging through knee-high snow. Two short women and a pushcart, surrounded by mountains of snow. A funny scene no doubt. We had coffee at the corner coffee shop, then we bought veggies for Fancy Vegetable Dinner. I steamed brussels sprouts, sauteed a chopped leek in calorie-free butter spray (go ahead and tell me why I have to throw this out, I know it's coming so go ahead) and added a pint of mushrooms, plus the sprouts, plus some "magic mushroom" seasoning that I bought in a grinder over Thanksgiving. Dash of salt. Delicious! We split a pint of grape tomatoes with it. Very yummy. That was it for dinner, except for my one glass of red wine.

For breakfast I ate my usual eggwhite scramble, and then for lunch a can of stewed tomatoes and 200 cals of walnuts. I know, flax people, I need to get some flax oil, but I can't drive to the corner, much less to the Whole Foods store in this weather. Last week two separate CR brothers and a sister told me that I need to solve my omega 3 vs 6 problem with some flax oil. I considered writing a blog entry entitled: "Attack of the Flax People." Once I can drive again (in case you're wondering, I'm blogging from my mother's house, which is in walking distance, while she entertains my cat... I did not drive to the office in this blizzard!) I will get some and probably give up my nuts in favor of flax oil. I also ate a green apple. I just really felt like eating a green apple. I love tart things. I used to make a great cranberry apricot pie... my college roommate Samantha and I would make it, and we called it Samberry Aprilcot pie.

Today is definitely coming in at around 1000, though my DWIDP is on my office computer so I'm not sure about the nutritients. I'll figure it out tomorrow. I picked up some broccolini to make for tomorrow's fancy vegetable dinner (we're just going to have fancy veggies twice in a row... my mom and I haven't gotten a chance to hang out much lately, so it's nice to catch up) along with red peppers and more mushrooms. I love the taste of sauteed mushrooms. Not as much of the megamuffins (what do I expect to happen? If I keep talking about how much I miss the megamuffins, they will magically appear on my doorstep?) but still, mushrooms are good.

I was sad that I didn't get to go to NYC to hang out with my CR brothers and sisters and some college friends, but it's probably just as well because I have so much work that I need to do for my new job. Only another week until I can devote every moment of my existence to fighting aging full-time! Hard to believe... it's all such a miracle... but here we go.

Order One For The Road

2005-01-17T18:48:00.000-08:00

I looked up at the sign above the door in the diner today, where I knew I would be doing my last ever diner meeting with nurses. That was the slogan. Seemed appropriate.

Is it hard to say goodbye? I suppose so. I've always been a "make a decision and never look back" kind of person, so perhaps I find this transition less difficult than others would. But it is a big change after nine years of doing one task -- organizing workers -- to contemplate spending all my time and energy doing another.

I'm ready though. In so many ways this is a dream come true. I've always thought that I wanted my contribution to the world to be something involving health, and the health care reform aspects of nurse organizing were always the most exciting to me. Now that I know that we can, if we try hard enough, find a way to reverse aging, I have started to see everyone around me as a ticking time bomb. How quickly I can raise the funds to mobilize the scientists to hunt down aging and death like an outlaw is the main determiner of whether or not those around me will live or die. Talk about motivation!

But you're wondering what I ate today. Today was a testament to the virtues of quick and easy CR, as I was on the road almost all day. Breakfast: cup of eggwhites, scrambled, plus one pint of grape tomatoes. Lunch-ish: iced latte with skim milk. Dinner: stopped at the TGIFriday's in the town where I'm staying and ordered off the (gasp!) Atkins menu! Grilled grouper with some kind of lime sauce and steamed vegetables, salad with vinegar. I am frightened of the olive oil in restaurants, as it is almost certainly sitting out for days before it reaches me, so I just get vinegar when I'm out. Glass of Sterling cabernet -- they didn't have pinot noir. All in all very satisfying, though I wondered if the grouper was a fatty fish and made a mental note to look it up. At least it wasn't salmon.

Now I have much work to do so bye, more later.

Dish Towels for Inappropriate Holidays

2005-01-17T08:05:00.000-08:00

This morning as I was putting away laundry I decided that it's silly to put away my holiday dish towels until next year, so I put out my Christmas and Halloween dish towels even though it's January. Radical rebellion, I know.

Am moving the project of getting my supplement situation straightened out to the top of my list. It has been pointed out to me that it's rather absurd that I can spend hours and hours fine tuning the calorie and nutrient balance in my diet, and yet I have not dragged myself to the store to buy the rest of my tier one supplements even though they have been spelled out for me in no uncertain terms that most people on the CR list would probably pay tons of money for. Most people interested in life extension, it seems, are perfectly content to take pills and continue eating junk. I suppose this might be easier, but my long term interest in food combined with a deeply ingrained fear of swallowing pills makes it seem quite the opposite to me. Still, it's silly that I'm not doing absolutely everything I can with the information I have available to me. At least I'm taking my Essential Mix aka Cake Mix. (I do not work for a supplement company so I can plug my new treat all I want!) It's easy to do because I don't eat candy things anymore, but I still miss things like sweet tarts and fun dip, and the new AOR powdered multi tastes exactly like a sweet tart in cake mix form. You can eat it with a spoon. VLC tried it and loved it. I'm not sure if it's available in the US yet, but if you have a problem with swallowing pills, this is a good thing to have. www.aor.ca if you want some of your very own.

I'm driving out to Pittsburgh again today, taking the entire tin of Essential Mix with me because I haven't yet figured out a good way to carry small bits of it on the road. It's a beautiful day, perfect for driving the PA Turpike. Meeting in the diner with the catchy slogans on the wall, then into the hotel with the wireless internet connection to write most of the night.